anne mikolay 2012 120

anne mikolay 2012 120Mother Nature’s most recent “gift”, the fourteenth snowstorm this winter, brings the total snow accumulation for the 2013-2014 season to 56.6 inches. Needless to say, we are all winter weary; I suggest we throw down our shovels and laugh a bit – and not at each other slipping and sliding on the ice.

Let me tell you about a woman who was lost in a snowstorm. She did not panic and remembered what her father had always told her: “If you ever get stuck in a snowstorm, just wait for a snow plow to come by and follow it!”

Sure enough, a snow plow came by, and she obediently followed it for forty-five minutes. Finally, the driver of the snow plow got out and asked the woman why she was following him. She explained her dad told her to follow a snow plow if she got stuck in a snowstorm.

The driver said, “Well, I’m done with the Wal-Mart parking lot now, do you want to follow me over to Best Buy?”

Of course, that funny incident didn’t really happen. That weather joke is courtesy of Here are a few more provided by the site:

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Jackson Pines and Cranston Dean in residency at Langosta Lounge in Asbury Park
Jackson Pines and Cranston Dean at Langosta

Why did Frosty the snowman want a divorce? Because he thought his wife was a flake!

Why does it take longer to build a blond snowman than a regular one? Because you have to hollow out the head! (Sorry, ladies!)

What do snowmen eat for lunch? Icebergers!

What do you call ten Arctic hares hopping backwards through the snow together? A receding hare line.

What do snowmen eat for breakfast? Frosted Flakes.

What did the snowman and his wife put over their baby’s crib? A snowmobile!

What do Snowmen call their offspring? Chill-dren.

Here’s one for the older Atlantic Highlands Herald readers: What do you get from sitting on the snow too long? Polaroids!

And one for the more hip readers: What do you call a gangsta snowman? Froze-T!

The next time you are snowbound, check out for light-hearted witticisms to make you smile. We all may need it; there are four more weeks remaining in winter!

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Anne Mikolay

Anne M. Mikolay joined The Atlantic Highlands Herald as a columnist in 2008. Prior to penning “The Armchair Critic,” Anne wrote feature articles for The Monmouth Journal. Her work has appeared in national...