anne_mikolay_2012_120Daily life stirs a lot of unanswerable questions. Here are just a few I have been pondering lately:

If  I paid for the take-out, why did my college-age kids leave the dishes in the sink for me to clean?

If I bought the donuts for my son, why did I eat the entire box?

If I carefully choose my parking space, why am I always sandwiched between two giant SUVs when I come out of the store?

When I’m making a right turn from Sears parking lot onto Kings Highway, why does a giant SUV making a left always pull up next to me and block my view of oncoming traffic?


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Why does my dog lick the carpet? Why do my chihuahuas shed so much? I could weave a coat from the amount of fur they leave behind.

Why won’t Amtrak allow small dogs on board? My previous question may hold the answer.

Why should I care that Snooki is pregnant or that Marie Osmond wet her pants on stage?

Who was the advertising guru who coined Charmin’s slogan, “Enjoy the Go”? Who the heck enjoys the go?

Who told Quilted Northern’s bigwigs that we want to talk about clean? We don’t.

Why are Jennifer Hudson’s Weight Watchers commercials so irritating?

Who cares if Whoopi Goldberg springs a leak from time to time or that Kirstie Alley is a spokeswoman for Poise?

Why do people park their shopping carts in front of the freezer case in Shoprite in Middletown and have long, personal cell phone conversations? While we’re talking about Shoprite, why is its parking lot such a mess?

Why does the media focus excessively on deceased celebrities of questionable character while celebrities with integrity garner only minimal coverage? 

Why do tasteless television shows like Two and a Half Men or Two Broke Girls draw such high ratings? Did I just answer my own question?

What gives Governor Christie, or any politician, the right to call someone an idiot, especially a former Navy Seal? What gives a town meeting participant, especially a Navy Seal, the right to shout at the Governor of the State of New Jersey? Shouldn’t grown men lead by example and employ respect?

Why do elderly people in motorized chairs drive in traffic? Why do newly licensed teenagers drive with windows down and music blasting?

Last but not least, why should you care about my daily musings when you probably have some of your own?






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Anne Mikolay

Anne M. Mikolay joined The Atlantic Highlands Herald as a columnist in 2008. Prior to penning “The Armchair Critic,” Anne wrote feature articles for The Monmouth Journal. Her work has appeared in national...