Here’s what I want to know…anne_mikolay_120

Who cares that Chelsea Clinton got hitched in Rhinebeck, New York? The Clintons didn’t care that my nephew got married in June in New Jersey; why should I care about Chelsea?

Is American Idol kidding with the new lineup of judges? Jennifer Lopez? Steven Tyler? Did they revert to the three judge format to make room for Tyler’s lips?

Just how many American Idols does the world need anyway?

Why did NBC cancel Law and Order? Why cancel a successful show and replace it with a new Law and Order located in California? Isn’t New York glitzy enough for viewers?

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What’s the point in giving high school kids summer reading assignments? Don’t teachers acknowledge that half the kids never read the books and rely on internet summaries?

Who invented the SAT? Don’t they realize it is an inaccurate assessment of a student’s ability and only adds to a high school kid’s stress?

Who invented the retailers’ calendar? Why is it back-to-school in July, Halloween in August, Christmas in September? Why does AC Moore already have Halloween merchandise for sale when I only just now purchased lighter fluid for the grill?

Why does my ten month old puppy steal my shoes and chew them? Why does leather taste better to him than dog chow?

Why does my son prefer to swim in his girlfriend’s pool when we just spent big bucks on a new liner for our own pool?

If my oldest son threw a barbecue last night, why was I the one scrubbing the grill this morning?

Why does my oldest son think a costly, purchased hero sandwich tastes better than a free hero made at home?

If Gettysburg, Pennsylvania is hallowed ground, why is there a campaign to build a casino there?

When the heck is the release date for the Robert Redford-directed film, “The Conspirator?” Doesn’t Hollywood know we history buffs can’t wait?

Why do I awake feeling tired in the mornings if I slept all night?

What the heck is a Chinese stink bug and why is it in my family room?

Here are a few more thoughts to ponder courtesy of If a kid refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest? If ghosts can walk through walls and glide down stairs, why don’t they fall through the floor? How can something be “new” and “improved”? If it’s new, what was it improving on? If laughter is the best medicine, who’s the idiot who said they “died laughing?” If money doesn’t grow on trees, then why do banks have branches? Why does the Easter bunny carry eggs? Rabbits don’t lay eggs. Do Siamese twins pay for one ticket or two tickets when they go to the movies and concerts? Can a short person “talk down” to a taller person?

Such silly questions!

Here’s one more of my own: Isn’t it healthier at times to be silly than to concentrate solely upon life’s weightier issues?

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Anne Mikolay

Anne M. Mikolay joined The Atlantic Highlands Herald as a columnist in 2008. Prior to penning “The Armchair Critic,” Anne wrote feature articles for The Monmouth Journal. Her work has appeared in national...