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AHH 24-Hr. News

Road Construction on West Front Street in Middletown Until Aug. 8
Wednesday, 30 July 2014
Wall, NJ – New Jersey Natural Gas (NJNG) today announced that it is installing 1,500 feet of main on West Front Street in Middletown, between... Read More...
Matawan Contractor Admits Failing to Perform Work for Post-Sandy Victims
Wednesday, 30 July 2014
Admits He Took Deposits for Work He Never Did FREEHOLD, NJ - A Matawan-based contractor pleaded guilty to accusations of theft admitting he accepted... Read More...
IMAGE Telling Their Story Through the Power of Art
Wednesday, 30 July 2014
PHOTO: Amanda's Easel Program Coordinator Cindi Westendorf (second from left) and Canterbury Art Show volunteers in the 2013 art show gallery of... Read More...
IMAGE The Community YMCA Kicks Off ‘Togetherhood’ Initiative with School Supply Drive to Benefit Kids Near and Far
Wednesday, 30 July 2014
PHOTO: Sahar Akbarzai of Old Bridge helps Y campers create a mural that will travel to Afghanistan along with school supplies being collected at... Read More...
IMAGE Assistance Available for Organic Certification Costs
Wednesday, 30 July 2014
TRENTON, NJ  – The New Jersey Department of Agriculture announced a partnership with the federal government to reduce organic certification... Read More...

Columns

IMAGE Not the Kind of Anchovy You Put on Pizza
by Joe Reynolds
Wednesday, 30 July 2014
If someone were to ask you the question what’s the most abundant and frequently found fish in Lower New York Bay, including Raritan Bay and Sandy... Read More...
IMAGE Review - Lucy
by David Prown
Wednesday, 30 July 2014
I saw the new movie, "Lucy" the other day starring Scarlett Johansson and Morgan Freeman and this movie is going to do well in the box office. Not... Read More...
IMAGE Adoption Involving Fetal Alcohol Syndrome
by Daniel J. Vance
Saturday, 26 July 2014
Laura Bloch adored his picture. “My husband and I had just been approved through an adoption agency and the agency sent out a letter with a picture... Read More...
IMAGE Is It The Shadow?
by Woody Zimmerman
Friday, 25 July 2014
“Who knows what evil lurks in the heart of man? (Hoo-hoo-hoo-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!) The Shadow...” Starting in the 1930s, and extending well into... Read More...
IMAGE Spectator’s Observations
by George Hancock-Stefan
Thursday, 24 July 2014
During the World Cup, I watched as many games as possible. I watched them here at home, I watched a couple of games in Turkey where they were... Read More...

Upcoming Events

Mon Aug 04 @ 8:00PM -
Middletown Township Committee Workshop Meeting
Tue Aug 05 @ 3:00PM - 04:30PM
Free Summer Mini-Camp
Wed Aug 06 @ 3:00PM - 04:30PM
Free Summer Mini-Camp
Thu Aug 07 @ 7:00PM - 09:00PM
Prostate Cancer Network- US TOO meets
Fri Aug 08 @ 7:30AM -
“Half Day Fluke Fishing” Cruise

anne_mikolay_2012_120My email address is daily inundated with spam. I can't count how many times I have been notified of a small fortune awaiting me in Nigeria or received instructions to immediately click a link to rectify an error in one of my accounts. Internet scammers tempt me with alleged undeliverable Fedex packages, bogus pharmaceutical companies peddle Viagra, etc., and internet dating sites send me advertisements every week. First out of the gate was Match.com; more recently, Christian-Mingle is on my tail. Thankfully, I am happily “matched” and a contented Christian with no desire to “mingle.” Every morning, I scroll through emails that have wiggled through spam filters, and I delete, delete, delete.

This morning, however, as I went through my usual “delete routine,” a particular piece of spam jumped out at me. Apparently, SeniorPeopleMeet.com, the number one dating site for senior citizens, has invited me to browse their website. Fully aware spam is entirely random, I should have chuckled and instantly hit delete. I didn't. This particular bit of spam gave me pause.

I am being courted by SeniorPeopleMeet.com. Me! Really? Pardon me, but I didn't think I was “there” yet. I don't order from the senior menu, nor do I qualify for senior discounts at Dearborn Farms for heaven's sake! Do I meet the criteria for senior citizen, and exactly what defines a senior anyway?

SeniorPeopleMeet markets itself as a site for “mature, active” people. Okay, I'm mature (forget that I squeal at the site of a puppy, love chocolate, and can do a mean chimpanzee impersonation). I'm active (sort of...I shift around on the sofa from time to time, but I can zip around the supermarket with the best of them). A more expansive definition of senior citizen is required. Seniors, I propose, are identified by three major characteristics: physical appearance, attitude, and mobility.

In our society, “older” means gray/white hair, wrinkles, expanding waist-lines, sensible shoes, and often decreasing physical stature. Seniors are sometimes less enthusiastic about current cultural trends, tire easily, and find new technology baffling. Mobility declines for some; seniors may move slowly, take more time to reach their destination. Why on earth would SeniorPeopleMeet toss me into this lot? When I look into the mirror, “older” does not look back!

Of course, I'm lying through my teeth. Admittedly, I have graying hair, prefer “mom jeans,” and have been advised by my doctor that I am shrinking. I can't muster enthusiasm for certain cultural trends (who the heck were those people singing at the 2012 Rockefeller Center tree lighting anyway?) and can't restore the picture on my television if I accidentally hit the wrong button on my remote, but I still maneuver the supermarket without leaving my cart in the middle of the aisle and don't hold up traffic while waiting for the most convenient parking space to become available. What, then, does this mean? Did SeniorPeopleMeet get it right? Am I one of them?

It means I'm well on my way. That's for sure, but you know what they say! Age is merely mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.

Take that, SeniorPeopleMeet.com!

Delete!