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AHH 24-Hr. News

Hubbard Avenue closed Saturday from 8 a.m. to 4 p.m.
Friday, 19 December 2014
Detours will be in place Motorist should expect delays due to emergency repairs MIDDLETOWN, NJ – On Saturday, December 20, weather permitting, Hubbard Avenue between West Front Street and Navesink River Road will be closed for emergency repair... Read More...
IMAGE Middletown Doctor Charged with Running Prescription Drug Ring
Friday, 19 December 2014
Doctor Sold Forged Oxycodone Prescriptions for $300 to $400 FREEHOLD, NJ - Detectives from the Middletown Township Police Department working with investigators from this Office and the state Division of Consumer Affairs have dismantled a... Read More...
Chairman Menendez Writes Secretary Kerry on North Korea’s Cyber-Terror Attack on Sony Pictures
Friday, 19 December 2014
Newark, NJ – U.S. Senator Robert Menendez (D-NJ), Chairman of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee, sent the following letter to Secretary of State John Kerry urging him to consider re-designating North Korea as a state sponsor of terrorism in... Read More...
Water Infrastructure Protection Act Passes Senate
Friday, 19 December 2014
TRENTON, NJ - Legislation sponsored by Senator Joe Kyrillos (R-13) and Senator Paul Sarlo (D-36) that would help protect the state's drinking water, result in more than $100 million of water infrastructure upgrades, and create thousands of jobs was... Read More...
NJBIA’s 2015 Business Outlook Survey Indicates Positive, Yet Cautious Forecast
Friday, 19 December 2014
TRENTON, NJ - The New Jersey Business & Industry Association’s 56th annual Business Outlook Survey reports a positive outlook for the state’s economy in 2015. However, the survey also reveals cautious optimism by member companies who... Read More...

Columns

IMAGE Skewed View - December 19, 2014
by Tom Brennan
Friday, 19 December 2014
It breaks my heart to see yet another article on how my dear #GuyFieri has made Food Network nearly unwatchable: http://bit.ly/1DA59Fm Want to see... Read More...
IMAGE Our Forefathers Knew Better
by George Hancock-Stefan
Wednesday, 17 December 2014
When one does a comparison between the 17th and 20th centuries in regards to the goodness of humanity, one comes with two different views.  The... Read More...
IMAGE Review - Top Five
by David Prown
Wednesday, 17 December 2014
The other day I was scanning moviefone.com to get a sense of new releases for this weekend. Never heard of Chris Rock's "Top Five" and tried to get a... Read More...
IMAGE Skewed View - December 16, 2014
by Tom Brennan
Tuesday, 16 December 2014
Got 60 grand?  Well, you can use it to pay down your debt or buy Burt Reynold's Smokey & The Bandit TransAm: http://usat.ly/1G9j9n6 Parenting... Read More...
IMAGE Stupid Christmas Gifts
by Anne Mikolay
Monday, 15 December 2014
Yes, I know. Tis the thought that counts...blah, blah, blah. But let's be honest. Shall we? Whether it's a collectible you don't collect, or a... Read More...

Upcoming Events

Sat Dec 20 @ 2:00PM - 04:00PM
Brothers in Harmony Holiday Show
Sat Dec 20 @ 2:30PM -
Band of the Two Rivers Holiday Concert
Sun Dec 21 @10:00AM -
Fair Haven Menorah Lighting
Sun Dec 21 @ 7:00PM -
Blue Christmas Service
Sat Dec 27 @ 3:00AM - 05:00PM
Murray Farmhouse Candlelight Reception -

anne_mikolay_2012_120My email address is daily inundated with spam. I can't count how many times I have been notified of a small fortune awaiting me in Nigeria or received instructions to immediately click a link to rectify an error in one of my accounts. Internet scammers tempt me with alleged undeliverable Fedex packages, bogus pharmaceutical companies peddle Viagra, etc., and internet dating sites send me advertisements every week. First out of the gate was Match.com; more recently, Christian-Mingle is on my tail. Thankfully, I am happily “matched” and a contented Christian with no desire to “mingle.” Every morning, I scroll through emails that have wiggled through spam filters, and I delete, delete, delete.

This morning, however, as I went through my usual “delete routine,” a particular piece of spam jumped out at me. Apparently, SeniorPeopleMeet.com, the number one dating site for senior citizens, has invited me to browse their website. Fully aware spam is entirely random, I should have chuckled and instantly hit delete. I didn't. This particular bit of spam gave me pause.

I am being courted by SeniorPeopleMeet.com. Me! Really? Pardon me, but I didn't think I was “there” yet. I don't order from the senior menu, nor do I qualify for senior discounts at Dearborn Farms for heaven's sake! Do I meet the criteria for senior citizen, and exactly what defines a senior anyway?

SeniorPeopleMeet markets itself as a site for “mature, active” people. Okay, I'm mature (forget that I squeal at the site of a puppy, love chocolate, and can do a mean chimpanzee impersonation). I'm active (sort of...I shift around on the sofa from time to time, but I can zip around the supermarket with the best of them). A more expansive definition of senior citizen is required. Seniors, I propose, are identified by three major characteristics: physical appearance, attitude, and mobility.

In our society, “older” means gray/white hair, wrinkles, expanding waist-lines, sensible shoes, and often decreasing physical stature. Seniors are sometimes less enthusiastic about current cultural trends, tire easily, and find new technology baffling. Mobility declines for some; seniors may move slowly, take more time to reach their destination. Why on earth would SeniorPeopleMeet toss me into this lot? When I look into the mirror, “older” does not look back!

Of course, I'm lying through my teeth. Admittedly, I have graying hair, prefer “mom jeans,” and have been advised by my doctor that I am shrinking. I can't muster enthusiasm for certain cultural trends (who the heck were those people singing at the 2012 Rockefeller Center tree lighting anyway?) and can't restore the picture on my television if I accidentally hit the wrong button on my remote, but I still maneuver the supermarket without leaving my cart in the middle of the aisle and don't hold up traffic while waiting for the most convenient parking space to become available. What, then, does this mean? Did SeniorPeopleMeet get it right? Am I one of them?

It means I'm well on my way. That's for sure, but you know what they say! Age is merely mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.

Take that, SeniorPeopleMeet.com!

Delete!