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AHH 24-Hr. News

IMAGE Honoring Our Fallen Veterans With Street Signs
Friday, 31 October 2014
MIDDLETOWN – The Middletown Veterans Affairs Committee met Wednesday with local officials to inspect one of the first new street signs installed to... Read More...
IMAGE Red Bank Police Report - October 31, 2014
Friday, 31 October 2014
Red Bank, NJ - The following police report is provided by the Red Bank Police Department.  All subjects are presumed innocent; unless, and... Read More...
IMAGE Culinary Delight at the 11th Annual CPC Behavioral Healthcare Food Tasting
Friday, 31 October 2014
photo L-R: John Mans, CPC President & CEO and resident of Brick; Kerry Herbert, CPC Vice President of Development and resident of Shrewsbury;... Read More...
IMAGE Arrest Made in Belmar Bank Robbery
Friday, 31 October 2014
Man Demanded Cash, Threatened Bomb Before Fleeing Scene FREEHOLD, NJ - A Monmouth County man was arrested Thursday evening after he robbed a... Read More...
IMAGE 65th Annual Holiday Bazaar and Luncheon
Friday, 31 October 2014
Saturday, November 15th      10AM – 3PM ATLANTIC HIGHLANDS, NJ -Bargains galore await you at the annual Holiday Bazaar... Read More...

Columns

IMAGE Skewed View - October 31, 2014
by Tom Brennan
Friday, 31 October 2014
If you were dumped by your boyfriend where would you go?  Me?  I'd go to a KFC for a week: http://yhoo.it/1rJTtF2 Worst cafe in America... Read More...
IMAGE Family Adopts Children with FASD
by Daniel J. Vance
Friday, 31 October 2014
A pregnant woman drinking any amount of alcohol can permanently harm her baby. No one knows this better than Sandy Hruby of Hutchinson, Minnesota,... Read More...
IMAGE Election is Around the Corner - Time to Vote
by Jack Archibald
Thursday, 30 October 2014
Halloween is upon us, and shortly thereafter, most of the public will focus on next Tuesday, which is Election Day.  For the past few weeks,... Read More...
IMAGE A Monarch with a Marker in NY Harbor
by Joe Reynolds
Thursday, 30 October 2014
It was a windy, sunny day last week. I was enjoying the afternoon at a friend’s meadow near Sandy Hook Bay, located downstream from New York City.... Read More...
IMAGE An Enemy Has Done It!
by George Hancock-Stefan
Thursday, 30 October 2014
In one of the well-known parables of the Lord Jesus Christ, the Wheat and the Tares (Matthew 13:24-30), the servants are surprised because when they... Read More...

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anne_mikolay_2012_120My email address is daily inundated with spam. I can't count how many times I have been notified of a small fortune awaiting me in Nigeria or received instructions to immediately click a link to rectify an error in one of my accounts. Internet scammers tempt me with alleged undeliverable Fedex packages, bogus pharmaceutical companies peddle Viagra, etc., and internet dating sites send me advertisements every week. First out of the gate was Match.com; more recently, Christian-Mingle is on my tail. Thankfully, I am happily “matched” and a contented Christian with no desire to “mingle.” Every morning, I scroll through emails that have wiggled through spam filters, and I delete, delete, delete.

This morning, however, as I went through my usual “delete routine,” a particular piece of spam jumped out at me. Apparently, SeniorPeopleMeet.com, the number one dating site for senior citizens, has invited me to browse their website. Fully aware spam is entirely random, I should have chuckled and instantly hit delete. I didn't. This particular bit of spam gave me pause.

I am being courted by SeniorPeopleMeet.com. Me! Really? Pardon me, but I didn't think I was “there” yet. I don't order from the senior menu, nor do I qualify for senior discounts at Dearborn Farms for heaven's sake! Do I meet the criteria for senior citizen, and exactly what defines a senior anyway?

SeniorPeopleMeet markets itself as a site for “mature, active” people. Okay, I'm mature (forget that I squeal at the site of a puppy, love chocolate, and can do a mean chimpanzee impersonation). I'm active (sort of...I shift around on the sofa from time to time, but I can zip around the supermarket with the best of them). A more expansive definition of senior citizen is required. Seniors, I propose, are identified by three major characteristics: physical appearance, attitude, and mobility.

In our society, “older” means gray/white hair, wrinkles, expanding waist-lines, sensible shoes, and often decreasing physical stature. Seniors are sometimes less enthusiastic about current cultural trends, tire easily, and find new technology baffling. Mobility declines for some; seniors may move slowly, take more time to reach their destination. Why on earth would SeniorPeopleMeet toss me into this lot? When I look into the mirror, “older” does not look back!

Of course, I'm lying through my teeth. Admittedly, I have graying hair, prefer “mom jeans,” and have been advised by my doctor that I am shrinking. I can't muster enthusiasm for certain cultural trends (who the heck were those people singing at the 2012 Rockefeller Center tree lighting anyway?) and can't restore the picture on my television if I accidentally hit the wrong button on my remote, but I still maneuver the supermarket without leaving my cart in the middle of the aisle and don't hold up traffic while waiting for the most convenient parking space to become available. What, then, does this mean? Did SeniorPeopleMeet get it right? Am I one of them?

It means I'm well on my way. That's for sure, but you know what they say! Age is merely mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.

Take that, SeniorPeopleMeet.com!

Delete!