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AHH 24-Hr. News

IMAGE Pulitzer Prize-winning poet Louise Glück at Monmouth U April 24
Wednesday, 16 April 2014
WEST LONG BRANCH, NJ  – The 2013-2014 Visiting Writers Series closes with a very special reading by Pulitzer Prize-winning poet Louise Glück... Read More...
Freeholders Proclaim 2014 ‘Library Week’ in Monmouth County
Wednesday, 16 April 2014
FREEHOLD, NJ – The Monmouth County Board of Chosen Freeholders recognizes the importance of the library system and has declared the week of April... Read More...
IMAGE Union Beach Church Recipient of Make a Difference Day Award
Wednesday, 16 April 2014
Elijah Rodriguez (second from left) at Make a Difference Day National Award Ceremony  UNION BEACH, NJ - Gateway Church of Christ is the... Read More...
How Most of America’s Food is Controlled by a Few Corporations
Wednesday, 16 April 2014
LINCROFT, NJ – How 80 per cent of America’s food production has become dominated by a few corporate food processors will be explored by Patty... Read More...
Local Students Win Awards at Heritage National Music Festival
Wednesday, 16 April 2014
TINTON FALLS, N.J. –  The Upper School Chorus, Show Choir and Orchestra at Ranney School,  under the direction of instructors Tess... Read More...

Columns

IMAGE COMMON CORE Can Deliver Rigor to US Schools If It's not an Iron-Clad Mandate
by wjoreilly
Wednesday, 16 April 2014
  Make way for the Common Core, coming soon to a public school near you. Some are thrilled, others bored, and still others terrified of the... Read More...
IMAGE April Love – and April Fool
by Woody Zimmerman
Wednesday, 16 April 2014
(Edited from an article of April 2004) At our house April 1st is a favorite date for more than the usual silly reasons of practical jokes and... Read More...
IMAGE Ospreys Return this Spring To Raise A Family
by Joe Reynolds
Monday, 14 April 2014
For the past dozen years or more, during the first full week of April, I have celebrated the return of spring to Sandy Hook Bay and Raritan Bay with... Read More...
IMAGE Getting Into That "Highly Selective American College": Get Involved in Your World...NOW!
by wjoreilly
Monday, 14 April 2014
These are the schools your parents want you to get into, your friends want to get into--you may even want to get into one of them yourself. They run... Read More...
IMAGE Mayoral Candidate Avery Grant’s Pioneering Vision for Long Branch: “A Community.”
by Dennis
Sunday, 13 April 2014
When retired U.S. Army Lieutenant Colonel Avery Grant, a veteran of the Vietnam War, first moved to Long Branch, he was taken not only by its natural... Read More...

Upcoming Events

Mon Apr 21 @ 3:00PM -
Middletown 350 Genealogy Poster Project
Mon Apr 21 @ 8:00PM -
Middletown Township Committee Meeting
Wed Apr 23 @ 9:30AM - 10:50AM
Story Time
Thu Apr 24 @ 9:00AM - 11:00AM
Middletown Mayor Open Office Hours
Thu Apr 24 @ 3:15PM - 04:30PM
Children's Programs

anne_mikolay_2012_120My email address is daily inundated with spam. I can't count how many times I have been notified of a small fortune awaiting me in Nigeria or received instructions to immediately click a link to rectify an error in one of my accounts. Internet scammers tempt me with alleged undeliverable Fedex packages, bogus pharmaceutical companies peddle Viagra, etc., and internet dating sites send me advertisements every week. First out of the gate was Match.com; more recently, Christian-Mingle is on my tail. Thankfully, I am happily “matched” and a contented Christian with no desire to “mingle.” Every morning, I scroll through emails that have wiggled through spam filters, and I delete, delete, delete.

This morning, however, as I went through my usual “delete routine,” a particular piece of spam jumped out at me. Apparently, SeniorPeopleMeet.com, the number one dating site for senior citizens, has invited me to browse their website. Fully aware spam is entirely random, I should have chuckled and instantly hit delete. I didn't. This particular bit of spam gave me pause.

I am being courted by SeniorPeopleMeet.com. Me! Really? Pardon me, but I didn't think I was “there” yet. I don't order from the senior menu, nor do I qualify for senior discounts at Dearborn Farms for heaven's sake! Do I meet the criteria for senior citizen, and exactly what defines a senior anyway?

SeniorPeopleMeet markets itself as a site for “mature, active” people. Okay, I'm mature (forget that I squeal at the site of a puppy, love chocolate, and can do a mean chimpanzee impersonation). I'm active (sort of...I shift around on the sofa from time to time, but I can zip around the supermarket with the best of them). A more expansive definition of senior citizen is required. Seniors, I propose, are identified by three major characteristics: physical appearance, attitude, and mobility.

In our society, “older” means gray/white hair, wrinkles, expanding waist-lines, sensible shoes, and often decreasing physical stature. Seniors are sometimes less enthusiastic about current cultural trends, tire easily, and find new technology baffling. Mobility declines for some; seniors may move slowly, take more time to reach their destination. Why on earth would SeniorPeopleMeet toss me into this lot? When I look into the mirror, “older” does not look back!

Of course, I'm lying through my teeth. Admittedly, I have graying hair, prefer “mom jeans,” and have been advised by my doctor that I am shrinking. I can't muster enthusiasm for certain cultural trends (who the heck were those people singing at the 2012 Rockefeller Center tree lighting anyway?) and can't restore the picture on my television if I accidentally hit the wrong button on my remote, but I still maneuver the supermarket without leaving my cart in the middle of the aisle and don't hold up traffic while waiting for the most convenient parking space to become available. What, then, does this mean? Did SeniorPeopleMeet get it right? Am I one of them?

It means I'm well on my way. That's for sure, but you know what they say! Age is merely mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.

Take that, SeniorPeopleMeet.com!

Delete!