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AHH 24-Hr. News

IMAGE Wilson Avenue Scheduled For Improvement This Year
Thursday, 18 September 2014
MIDDLETOWN, NJ – Wilson Avenue is the latest township thoroughfare slated to be repaved this year. The Township Committee approved a contract at... Read More...
New Jersey Tax Offer: Pay Back Taxes Now and Save Time and Money
Thursday, 18 September 2014
TRENTON, NJ –For a limited time, the Division of Taxation is providing businesses and individuals who have unpaid tax liabilities a convenient... Read More...
IMAGE Sunday October 19 is Thompson Park Day
Thursday, 18 September 2014
PHOTO: Pumpkin painting will once again be part of Thompson Park Day.  This year’s celebration will be held at Thompson Park, Newman... Read More...
Jersey Shore PFLAG Support Group Meetings in October 2014
Thursday, 18 September 2014
(Parents, Families, and Friends of Lesbians and Gays)   On Wednesday, October 8, the monthly Jersey Shore PFLAG support meeting in Ocean County... Read More...
New York Metro Area Income Not Statistically Different from End of Recession
Thursday, 18 September 2014
WASHINGTON, D.C. - The New York metro area’s 2013 median household income ($65,786) was not statistically different from 2010, the first full year... Read More...

Columns

IMAGE The Secret of Old Age
by Anne Mikolay
Thursday, 18 September 2014
Facebook is a playground for adults. You can find pretty much anything there. While some folks share political commentary, others post inspirational... Read More...
IMAGE Romney Seems Ready for Another Run
by Dennis
Thursday, 18 September 2014
For the past several weeks, the media and the Republican Party have been abuzz with talk related to a most unexpected of topics: former Massachusetts... Read More...
IMAGE Uncertain Trumpet-Call
by Woody Zimmerman
Tuesday, 16 September 2014
On the idle hill of summer,Sleepy with the flow of streams,Far I hear the steady drummerDrumming like a noise in dreams.Far and near and low and... Read More...
IMAGE Hoy for the Hall of Fame
by Daniel J. Vance
Saturday, 13 September 2014
I guess every year you'll just have to get used to reading about William Elsworth “Dummy” Hoy, a deaf professional baseball player from... Read More...
IMAGE 9/11 - An Historic Shift
by Jack Archibald
Friday, 12 September 2014
Wherever you walk in lower Manhattan on September 11, there is always some quiet reflection going on.  Most of the workers are quietly going... Read More...

Upcoming Events

Thu Sep 18 @ 3:15PM - 03:45PM
School Age Programs Grades K and up
Thu Sep 18 @ 4:00PM - 04:30PM
Preschool Story Time Ages 3 – 5
Thu Sep 18 @ 7:00PM -
Dead Beat Poet Society - AH Library
Sat Sep 20 @ 9:00AM - 02:00PM
Flea Market - Ideal Beach - Middletown
Sat Sep 20 @ 9:00AM -
5-Mile Run

anne_mikolay_2012_120My email address is daily inundated with spam. I can't count how many times I have been notified of a small fortune awaiting me in Nigeria or received instructions to immediately click a link to rectify an error in one of my accounts. Internet scammers tempt me with alleged undeliverable Fedex packages, bogus pharmaceutical companies peddle Viagra, etc., and internet dating sites send me advertisements every week. First out of the gate was Match.com; more recently, Christian-Mingle is on my tail. Thankfully, I am happily “matched” and a contented Christian with no desire to “mingle.” Every morning, I scroll through emails that have wiggled through spam filters, and I delete, delete, delete.

This morning, however, as I went through my usual “delete routine,” a particular piece of spam jumped out at me. Apparently, SeniorPeopleMeet.com, the number one dating site for senior citizens, has invited me to browse their website. Fully aware spam is entirely random, I should have chuckled and instantly hit delete. I didn't. This particular bit of spam gave me pause.

I am being courted by SeniorPeopleMeet.com. Me! Really? Pardon me, but I didn't think I was “there” yet. I don't order from the senior menu, nor do I qualify for senior discounts at Dearborn Farms for heaven's sake! Do I meet the criteria for senior citizen, and exactly what defines a senior anyway?

SeniorPeopleMeet markets itself as a site for “mature, active” people. Okay, I'm mature (forget that I squeal at the site of a puppy, love chocolate, and can do a mean chimpanzee impersonation). I'm active (sort of...I shift around on the sofa from time to time, but I can zip around the supermarket with the best of them). A more expansive definition of senior citizen is required. Seniors, I propose, are identified by three major characteristics: physical appearance, attitude, and mobility.

In our society, “older” means gray/white hair, wrinkles, expanding waist-lines, sensible shoes, and often decreasing physical stature. Seniors are sometimes less enthusiastic about current cultural trends, tire easily, and find new technology baffling. Mobility declines for some; seniors may move slowly, take more time to reach their destination. Why on earth would SeniorPeopleMeet toss me into this lot? When I look into the mirror, “older” does not look back!

Of course, I'm lying through my teeth. Admittedly, I have graying hair, prefer “mom jeans,” and have been advised by my doctor that I am shrinking. I can't muster enthusiasm for certain cultural trends (who the heck were those people singing at the 2012 Rockefeller Center tree lighting anyway?) and can't restore the picture on my television if I accidentally hit the wrong button on my remote, but I still maneuver the supermarket without leaving my cart in the middle of the aisle and don't hold up traffic while waiting for the most convenient parking space to become available. What, then, does this mean? Did SeniorPeopleMeet get it right? Am I one of them?

It means I'm well on my way. That's for sure, but you know what they say! Age is merely mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.

Take that, SeniorPeopleMeet.com!

Delete!