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AHH 24-Hr. News

Nominations Sought for 2015 BCC Honors
Wednesday, 22 October 2014
LINCROFT, NJ  – The Brookdale Community College Alumni Association is seeking nominations for the 2015 Distinguished Alumni Award, which... Read More...
IMAGE RBR Vocal Majors to Attend All State Chorus 2104
Wednesday, 22 October 2014
Pictured are the eight Red Bank Regional (RBR) Visual & Performing Arts Vocal majors who will represent their high school in the prestigious... Read More...
IMAGE Bayshore Pharmacy Celebrates 50th Anniversary
Wednesday, 22 October 2014
ATLANTIC HIGHLANDS, NJ - The owners and employees of Bayshore Pharmacy will celebrate the 50th Anniversary of continuously serving the residents of... Read More...
Advise for New Jersey Consumers on How to Recognize and Avoid Health Insurance Fraud
Wednesday, 22 October 2014
TRENTON – As part of Insurance Fraud Awareness Month, New Jersey Department of Banking and Insurance Commissioner Ken Kobylowski today warned New... Read More...
IMAGE Trinity Hall STEM Program Grows Leaps and Bounds - In One Week
Wednesday, 22 October 2014
PHOTO: Pallavi Kawatra, Trinity Hall student-body president, and Abigail Marcin, student-body vice president, join STEM faculty member Kali Lambrou... Read More...

Columns

IMAGE Review - The Skeleton Twins
by David Prown
Sunday, 19 October 2014
Recently a good friend shared that she was very amped up to see the new movie "The Skeleton Twins" playing at the Bow Tie in Red Bank. She is a big... Read More...
IMAGE Halloween Special Feature: Remembering Hans Holzer’s Paranormal Investigations in NJ (Part I)
by Dennis
Sunday, 19 October 2014
When it came to ghosts, ghouls, and stories from beyond the grave, few spoke as authoritatively as the late Dr. Hans Holzer. The Austrian-born... Read More...
IMAGE Who Put a Silver Bracelet on a Bird?
by Joe Reynolds
Saturday, 18 October 2014
As autumn progresses around New York Harbor (including the lower reaches of Sandy Hook Bay and Raritan Bay), royalty has returned to our sandy... Read More...
IMAGE Individualism and Group Activities Reconsidered
by George Hancock-Stefan
Friday, 17 October 2014
A short while ago, one of the high school students in my church told me that she hates group projects.  She finished her part already, but... Read More...
IMAGE Henry Hudson Tri-District Education Foundation to Support STEM and Athletic Programs
by Jack Archibald
Friday, 17 October 2014
In the competitive landscape of education, today’s students need every advantage to get ahead.  There are many things that factor into a... Read More...

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anne_mikolay_2012_120My email address is daily inundated with spam. I can't count how many times I have been notified of a small fortune awaiting me in Nigeria or received instructions to immediately click a link to rectify an error in one of my accounts. Internet scammers tempt me with alleged undeliverable Fedex packages, bogus pharmaceutical companies peddle Viagra, etc., and internet dating sites send me advertisements every week. First out of the gate was Match.com; more recently, Christian-Mingle is on my tail. Thankfully, I am happily “matched” and a contented Christian with no desire to “mingle.” Every morning, I scroll through emails that have wiggled through spam filters, and I delete, delete, delete.

This morning, however, as I went through my usual “delete routine,” a particular piece of spam jumped out at me. Apparently, SeniorPeopleMeet.com, the number one dating site for senior citizens, has invited me to browse their website. Fully aware spam is entirely random, I should have chuckled and instantly hit delete. I didn't. This particular bit of spam gave me pause.

I am being courted by SeniorPeopleMeet.com. Me! Really? Pardon me, but I didn't think I was “there” yet. I don't order from the senior menu, nor do I qualify for senior discounts at Dearborn Farms for heaven's sake! Do I meet the criteria for senior citizen, and exactly what defines a senior anyway?

SeniorPeopleMeet markets itself as a site for “mature, active” people. Okay, I'm mature (forget that I squeal at the site of a puppy, love chocolate, and can do a mean chimpanzee impersonation). I'm active (sort of...I shift around on the sofa from time to time, but I can zip around the supermarket with the best of them). A more expansive definition of senior citizen is required. Seniors, I propose, are identified by three major characteristics: physical appearance, attitude, and mobility.

In our society, “older” means gray/white hair, wrinkles, expanding waist-lines, sensible shoes, and often decreasing physical stature. Seniors are sometimes less enthusiastic about current cultural trends, tire easily, and find new technology baffling. Mobility declines for some; seniors may move slowly, take more time to reach their destination. Why on earth would SeniorPeopleMeet toss me into this lot? When I look into the mirror, “older” does not look back!

Of course, I'm lying through my teeth. Admittedly, I have graying hair, prefer “mom jeans,” and have been advised by my doctor that I am shrinking. I can't muster enthusiasm for certain cultural trends (who the heck were those people singing at the 2012 Rockefeller Center tree lighting anyway?) and can't restore the picture on my television if I accidentally hit the wrong button on my remote, but I still maneuver the supermarket without leaving my cart in the middle of the aisle and don't hold up traffic while waiting for the most convenient parking space to become available. What, then, does this mean? Did SeniorPeopleMeet get it right? Am I one of them?

It means I'm well on my way. That's for sure, but you know what they say! Age is merely mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.

Take that, SeniorPeopleMeet.com!

Delete!