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AHH 24-Hr. News

IMAGE Senator Robert Menendez and Dr. Salomon Melgen Indicted
Wednesday, 01 April 2015
PHOTO: U.S. Sen. Robert Menendez Charged with Conspiracy, Bribery, and Honest Services Fraud WASHINGTON—Robert Menendez, a U.S. senator, and Salomon Melgen, a Florida ophthalmologist, were indicted today in connection with a bribery scheme in... Read More...
IMAGE Statement from Senator Menendez in Response to Federal Corruption Charges
Wednesday, 01 April 2015
NEWARK, N.J. – U.S. Senator Bob Menendez made the following statement tonight:  “For nearly three years I’ve lived under a Justice Department cloud and today I am outraged that this cloud has not been lifted. “I’m outraged that... Read More...
Menendez Will Temporarily Step Down as Ranking Member of Foreign Relations Committee
Wednesday, 01 April 2015
Newark, NJ -   U.S. Senator Bob Menendez earlier today spoke with Democratic Leader Reid and informed him that he would temporarily step down as Ranking Member of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee.  He also sent Leader Reid a letter... Read More...
AAA: Don’t Drive Distracted
Wednesday, 01 April 2015
April is National Distracted Driving Awareness Month Hamilton, NJ – Drunk driving has been a leading cause of fatalities on the road, but another deadly behavior behind the wheel that is sadly gaining in statistics: distracted driving. ... Read More...
IMAGE Gateway Closes Sandy Hook Observation Deck for Repairs; Will Reopen by Memorial Day Weekend
Wednesday, 01 April 2015
Photo: The Observation Deck at Sandy Hook is a great place to see the forest for the trees and the wildlife living there. NPS PHOTO SANDY HOOK, NJ - With the donation of materials from the Sandy Hook Foundation, Gateway National Recreation Area... Read More...

Columns

IMAGE Hey, Indiana!
by Anne Mikolay
Wednesday, 01 April 2015
The average American doesn't know much about Indiana other than what we learned in grade school: Indianapolis is your capital, and you grow a lot of... Read More...
IMAGE Another Triumphal Procession
by Woody Zimmerman
Tuesday, 31 March 2015
As a change of pace for the Lenten Season, here’s a reprint of an earlier column-entry. Palm Sunday – occurring on March 29 this year – always... Read More...
IMAGE Making Homes for Fish Hawks
by Joe Reynolds
Tuesday, 31 March 2015
Like an old fashioned barn raising, about 15 volunteers  with the Bayshore Regional Watershed Council came together on a clear but chilly Sunday... Read More...
IMAGE Of Food Trucks, Boardwalks, and New Development
by Dennis
Monday, 30 March 2015
Summer is just around the corner, and for those who live at the Jersey Shore, that means two things are guaranteed: the mass influx of tourists is... Read More...
IMAGE Clinton's Delusional Defense of Email
by Jack Archibald
Saturday, 21 March 2015
Last week, former Secretary of State and prospective Democrat President nominee Hillary Clinton channeled her inner H.L. Mencken.  By... Read More...

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anne_mikolay_2012_120My email address is daily inundated with spam. I can't count how many times I have been notified of a small fortune awaiting me in Nigeria or received instructions to immediately click a link to rectify an error in one of my accounts. Internet scammers tempt me with alleged undeliverable Fedex packages, bogus pharmaceutical companies peddle Viagra, etc., and internet dating sites send me advertisements every week. First out of the gate was Match.com; more recently, Christian-Mingle is on my tail. Thankfully, I am happily “matched” and a contented Christian with no desire to “mingle.” Every morning, I scroll through emails that have wiggled through spam filters, and I delete, delete, delete.

This morning, however, as I went through my usual “delete routine,” a particular piece of spam jumped out at me. Apparently, SeniorPeopleMeet.com, the number one dating site for senior citizens, has invited me to browse their website. Fully aware spam is entirely random, I should have chuckled and instantly hit delete. I didn't. This particular bit of spam gave me pause.

I am being courted by SeniorPeopleMeet.com. Me! Really? Pardon me, but I didn't think I was “there” yet. I don't order from the senior menu, nor do I qualify for senior discounts at Dearborn Farms for heaven's sake! Do I meet the criteria for senior citizen, and exactly what defines a senior anyway?

SeniorPeopleMeet markets itself as a site for “mature, active” people. Okay, I'm mature (forget that I squeal at the site of a puppy, love chocolate, and can do a mean chimpanzee impersonation). I'm active (sort of...I shift around on the sofa from time to time, but I can zip around the supermarket with the best of them). A more expansive definition of senior citizen is required. Seniors, I propose, are identified by three major characteristics: physical appearance, attitude, and mobility.

In our society, “older” means gray/white hair, wrinkles, expanding waist-lines, sensible shoes, and often decreasing physical stature. Seniors are sometimes less enthusiastic about current cultural trends, tire easily, and find new technology baffling. Mobility declines for some; seniors may move slowly, take more time to reach their destination. Why on earth would SeniorPeopleMeet toss me into this lot? When I look into the mirror, “older” does not look back!

Of course, I'm lying through my teeth. Admittedly, I have graying hair, prefer “mom jeans,” and have been advised by my doctor that I am shrinking. I can't muster enthusiasm for certain cultural trends (who the heck were those people singing at the 2012 Rockefeller Center tree lighting anyway?) and can't restore the picture on my television if I accidentally hit the wrong button on my remote, but I still maneuver the supermarket without leaving my cart in the middle of the aisle and don't hold up traffic while waiting for the most convenient parking space to become available. What, then, does this mean? Did SeniorPeopleMeet get it right? Am I one of them?

It means I'm well on my way. That's for sure, but you know what they say! Age is merely mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.

Take that, SeniorPeopleMeet.com!

Delete!