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AHH 24-Hr. News

IMAGE Middletown Library - November 2014 – New Events for Adults and Teens
Friday, 24 October 2014
MIDDLETOWN, NJ - Middletown Township Public Library, 55 New Monmouth Road, Middletown NJ, will host the following events for adults and teens... Read More...
2nd Annual Wine Tasting Benefit for Red Bank Library
Friday, 24 October 2014
RED BANK, NJ - The Foundation for the Red Bank Public Library is holding its 2nd annual wine tasting benefit on November 11, 2014 from 7:00 pm... Read More...
Sermon: The Promise
Friday, 24 October 2014
ATLANTIC  HIGHLANDS ---The Rev. Paul F. Rack will preach on placing our trust in the fulfillment of God's promise of redemption, equality... Read More...
IMAGE Keansburg Hosts Zombies & Comic Character Walk
Friday, 24 October 2014
Saturday, November 1 starting at 5 p.m. KEANSBURG, NJ - Everyone is invited to dress up and join the Halloween fun including two haunted houses. The... Read More...
Monmouth County Chamber Spooky Halloween Business Networking Party
Friday, 24 October 2014
Belford, NJ - Join the Monmouth County Chamber of Commerce for its Annual Halloween Party on Wednesday, October 29, from 6pm to 8pm at the Kedz... Read More...

Columns

IMAGE Remembering Hans Holzer’s Paranormal Investigations in NJ (Part II)
by Dennis
Friday, 24 October 2014
As was revealed in the previous article, the late Dr. Hans Holzer, famed pioneer of psychical research, helped put Port Monmouth’s Spy House on the... Read More...
IMAGE The Fountain of Youth
by Anne Mikolay
Thursday, 23 October 2014
On October 20th, actress Renee Zellweger arrived at the 2014 Elle Women in Hollywood awards with a new face. As a result of very obvious plastic... Read More...
IMAGE Review - The Skeleton Twins
by David Prown
Sunday, 19 October 2014
Recently a good friend shared that she was very amped up to see the new movie "The Skeleton Twins" playing at the Bow Tie in Red Bank. She is a big... Read More...
IMAGE Halloween Special Feature: Remembering Hans Holzer’s Paranormal Investigations in NJ (Part I)
by Dennis
Sunday, 19 October 2014
When it came to ghosts, ghouls, and stories from beyond the grave, few spoke as authoritatively as the late Dr. Hans Holzer. The Austrian-born... Read More...
IMAGE Who Put a Silver Bracelet on a Bird?
by Joe Reynolds
Saturday, 18 October 2014
As autumn progresses around New York Harbor (including the lower reaches of Sandy Hook Bay and Raritan Bay), royalty has returned to our sandy... Read More...

Upcoming Events

Sat Oct 25 @ 5:00AM - 08:00PM
Halloween Hullabaloo - Middletown
Sat Oct 25 @10:00AM - 11:30AM
Chess Club Meets - AH Library
Tue Oct 28 @ 7:00PM -
MT Town Hall Meeting - Economic Development
Wed Oct 29 @ 9:30AM - 10:00AM
Baby Story Time Ages 10 – 24 months
Wed Oct 29 @10:30AM - 10:50AM
Toddler Story Time Ages 2 & 3

anne_mikolay_2012_120My email address is daily inundated with spam. I can't count how many times I have been notified of a small fortune awaiting me in Nigeria or received instructions to immediately click a link to rectify an error in one of my accounts. Internet scammers tempt me with alleged undeliverable Fedex packages, bogus pharmaceutical companies peddle Viagra, etc., and internet dating sites send me advertisements every week. First out of the gate was Match.com; more recently, Christian-Mingle is on my tail. Thankfully, I am happily “matched” and a contented Christian with no desire to “mingle.” Every morning, I scroll through emails that have wiggled through spam filters, and I delete, delete, delete.

This morning, however, as I went through my usual “delete routine,” a particular piece of spam jumped out at me. Apparently, SeniorPeopleMeet.com, the number one dating site for senior citizens, has invited me to browse their website. Fully aware spam is entirely random, I should have chuckled and instantly hit delete. I didn't. This particular bit of spam gave me pause.

I am being courted by SeniorPeopleMeet.com. Me! Really? Pardon me, but I didn't think I was “there” yet. I don't order from the senior menu, nor do I qualify for senior discounts at Dearborn Farms for heaven's sake! Do I meet the criteria for senior citizen, and exactly what defines a senior anyway?

SeniorPeopleMeet markets itself as a site for “mature, active” people. Okay, I'm mature (forget that I squeal at the site of a puppy, love chocolate, and can do a mean chimpanzee impersonation). I'm active (sort of...I shift around on the sofa from time to time, but I can zip around the supermarket with the best of them). A more expansive definition of senior citizen is required. Seniors, I propose, are identified by three major characteristics: physical appearance, attitude, and mobility.

In our society, “older” means gray/white hair, wrinkles, expanding waist-lines, sensible shoes, and often decreasing physical stature. Seniors are sometimes less enthusiastic about current cultural trends, tire easily, and find new technology baffling. Mobility declines for some; seniors may move slowly, take more time to reach their destination. Why on earth would SeniorPeopleMeet toss me into this lot? When I look into the mirror, “older” does not look back!

Of course, I'm lying through my teeth. Admittedly, I have graying hair, prefer “mom jeans,” and have been advised by my doctor that I am shrinking. I can't muster enthusiasm for certain cultural trends (who the heck were those people singing at the 2012 Rockefeller Center tree lighting anyway?) and can't restore the picture on my television if I accidentally hit the wrong button on my remote, but I still maneuver the supermarket without leaving my cart in the middle of the aisle and don't hold up traffic while waiting for the most convenient parking space to become available. What, then, does this mean? Did SeniorPeopleMeet get it right? Am I one of them?

It means I'm well on my way. That's for sure, but you know what they say! Age is merely mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.

Take that, SeniorPeopleMeet.com!

Delete!