The 2015 “Red carpet” season begins on January 7th with the People's Choice Awards. The schedule of upcoming award shows confirms Hollywood's inclination to pat itself on the back: January 11th is reserved for the Golden Globes; the 15th for the Critics' Choice awards and the announcement of Oscar nominations; the 24th is the Producers' Guild awards, and January 25th is the SAG (Screen Actors' Guild) awards.
Ask me if I care!
Admittedly, my criteria for quality differs from that of the majority, but it seems to me Hollywood bestows excessive accolades on junk. Since the entertainment industry hands out awards for everything...best film, best actor, best dressed, best television program, best this, best that, blah, blah, blah...why isn't there an award for the best of the worst, the most absurd entertainment? Thus, I propose a prize for the most ridiculous program. Let's call it the “Golden Asinine” award.
And the 2015 “Golden Asinine” award goes to...Naked and Afraid, the best, worst reality program on television.
For those out of the reality television loop, Naked and Afraid is a Discovery channel docudrama that follows the challenges of two survivalists struggling to stay alive in the wilderness. After meeting for the very first time, these strangers strip naked and go forth in search of shelter and food. While I am not a popular critic (back in 2011, I received criticism for panning Animal Planet's Hillbilly Handfishin'), I'm going to go out on a limb here and declare Naked and Afraid questionable entertainment. And my question is, why? Why do Hollywood powers-that-be think I want to watch two strangers with questionable body mass indexes drag their naked behinds through mud and swamp? Some viewers find Naked and Afraid intriguing, frighteningly good. I am not among them. The program's premise is pretty straightforward, but I just don't get it. Discovery Channel aficionados, please don't email me with suggestions I widen my horizons to include new experiences, as the Animal Planet fans advised back in 2011. Let's agree to disagree; you know what they say, “tomayto, tomahto,” “potayto, potahto.” Brave, naked and afraid buttocks, “Golden Asinine”contenders.
While we're doling out new awards, here's another: “Biggest Ignoramus”. There are so many candidates out there, this award could be given monthly, but the award goes to...Sarah Palin. What on earth made Palin think a facebook posting of her young son standing on his service dog is acceptable? Animals are not step stools! I concede Palin is correct in pointing out PETA's (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) hypocrisy in chastising her while remaining silent over a similar photograph posted by Ellen DeGeneres in the summer of 2014, but Palin's response that PETA should “chill” and “at least he (her son) didn't eat the dog” is insensitive and just plain stupid. Thus, Sarah Palin is the first winner of the “Biggest Ignoramus” award. I'm sure I will not receive emails of protest.
Well, that was easy, and I didn't even have to wear the latest Oscar de la Renta creation or strut my stuff on the red carpet to voice my opinion.