Now that another Thanksgiving has gone by, the relatives have gone home, and the leftovers have been eaten, we can trade our effusive expressions of gratitude for a little dose of reality. Let's be honest. While there's much to be thankful for, there's a lot we are not so happy with. We've all got a list of things we could do without; in the interest of fair play, here's just a few for your consideration.
- Kim Kardashian's derrière (though derrière seems far too classy a word for this particular element of Kardashian's physique). I had never heard of Papermag until Kardashian appeared like a giant harvest moon (pun intended) on its cover. The media quickly reported Kardashian's desire to garnish enough views of her buttocks (better word) to “break the internet”, and suddenly Papermag's cover was everywhere. It is beyond me why a woman as beautiful as Kim Kardashian is compelled to expose and cheapen herself. Yes, I know. She's laughing all the way to the bank.
- Taylor Swift. Yes, she is a superstar. Yes, she donated the proceeds of her “Welcome to New York” release to New York's public schools, but that's to be expected from New York's first Global Welcome Ambassador. I have no idea what this newly created post entails, but as a transplanted city girl, I take offense to bestowing such an office, albeit one of “fluff”, upon a non-native New Yorker.
- Hollywood scandals. Case in point: Bill Cosby's fall from grace. When you're raised above the masses, whether by fate or design, you are bound to tumble down. There's an old saying: “Be nice to the people on your way up because you'll meet them again on your way back down.” Apparently, Bill Cosby (no Dr. Huxtable!), is learning this harsh lesson; the man just may be another wolf in sheep's clothing.
- SUVs. Sorry, folks, but these monstrosities irk me, especially when I carefully choose my parking space only to return and find a huge SUV beside me. Not only do SUVs block the line of vision for drivers of smaller vehicles, SUVs do not even fit in regular parking spaces. Sport utility vehicles belong in the Colorado Rockies, not in Shop-rite's parking lot. (Since when is grocery shopping a sport?)
- Inflatable lawn ornaments. When deflated, these giant blobs of Christmas resemble and are as unappealing as discarded bubble gum.
- I am not thankful for: migraines, stink bugs, Obamacare (appropriately following stink bugs for obvious reasons), Black Friday shoppers, Cyber-Monday emails, Joe Boxer Christmas commercials, talking heads on CNN (blah, blah, blah), free Christmas labels in the mail (in such great abundance I could wallpaper my entire house with them), poor health and insomnia.
So there you have it. A short list for which to be “un-thankful”. For the record, “Un-Thanksgiving Day”, also known as the Indigenous Peoples Sunrise Ceremony, is an annual event honoring the indigenous peoples of the Americas, and is not to be confused with my “un-Thanksgiving”, an excuse to complain and air my petty grievances.