Years ago, my mother purchased The Buttoneer, a hand-held sewing device to improve the speed and skill of ladies, like my mom, weary of sewing buttons by hand. However, it did not take my mom long to realize she could sew a few buttons in the same amount of time it took to prepare the machine for use. Consequently, The Buttoneer was stuffed into a drawer never to be seen again, and I've been laughing at infomercials and cheesy products sold on television ever since.
Just think of all the crazy products touted on television, many hawked by announcers with foreign accents. Why do marketers believe an excited voice with a charming British or Australian accent is more likely to persuade me to hop out of my armchair, run to the phone, and purchase kitchen tools that will cook hard-boiled eggs without peeling the shell, or adhesive strips that will give me an instant eye-lift so I can avoid plastic surgery? It doesn't matter that I can buy one and get one free if I call NOW; I'm not wearing sauna pants or spraying anybody's bald spot with “hair enhancer.” I don't want a Chia Obama or a device to help me stand still and shake the weight off. Made-for-TV products get sillier and sillier!
Last night, while watching television, my son and I cracked up when we saw the name of the new microwavable slippers, Hot Booties. (Come on, you laughed, too!) Shortly thereafter, we scoffed at the claim that we would be the envy of all our friends at our next tail-gating party if we wore Forever Warm, an adult fleece jumpsuit complete with back flap for potty visits. Close your eyes and envision football fans clad in Forever Warm get-ups at the stadium. Hysterical! Who on earth buys such things advertised on television?
Well...uh...it seems...I do...kind of. I admit it! I let my guard down! I caved and became one of those crazy, as-seen-on-TV people, but I refuse to hang my head in shame cuz I am super comfy in my new Pajama Jeans!
Yes. That's right. I own Pajama Jeans! (I'll pause while you laugh...okay?) After seeing these “pajamas you live in, jeans you sleep in” advertised over and over and over, I considered the startling possibility Pajama Jeans might be a comfortable, neat alternative to sweats or rigid jeans that poke me where I don't want to be poked. Pajama Jeans took on legitimacy when I saw them being sold in Bed, Bath & Beyond, where I thoroughly examined the product. Holy Cow! Pajama Jeans really were soft as the commercial claimed. Who knew? Guess what my closest friend gave me for my birthday? Pajama Jeans! And I was thrilled to have them!
I do have a few complaints, however. Pajama Jean manufacturers kindly take note. The jeans are way too long for those of us who are not super-model height, and the jeans only come in one color. They are also too warm to wear all year round. Other than that, the only drawback to Pajama Jeans is that they might be a little too comfortable and pliable and thus inhibit the “my jeans are too tight!” warning that stops me from eating more than I should.
Would I wear Pajama Jeans to a party? No. Would I wear them to the grocery store or everywhere I run errands? Yes, indeed! Am I now a devoted television shopper, eyes glued to the screen, hand clutching the phone to dial NOW? Hardly. It simply means that as I lean back in my armchair to laugh at all the silly products offered via television, I will be super comfy in my Pajama Jeans.
You may stop laughing at me now. Thank you.