Shortly after inventing the Internet, Al Gore and I, being very thirsty, set out to create a beverage that was both nutritious and thirst quenching.  Something less filling that still tasted great, we started with the pristine waters of Many Mind Creek in Atlantic Highlands…

Okay, okay, the more likely history of beer.  I write ‘more likely’ as there is much speculation in the narrative that follows and the early written record is not conclusive.  Anthropologists tell us that between 10,000 and 15,000 years ago, some humans discontinued their nomadic hunting and gathering and settled down to farm.  Among the first foodstuffs grown were various types of grains, maize, wheat, rice etc. 

The most likely starting point on this journey of beer discovery is the so-called Fertile Crescent between the Tigris and Euphrates rivers. This area is now part of Modern Day Iraq.  The first Civilization in this region was that of the Sumerians.  The oldest written evidence of brewing dates from about 3000 B.C. and is included in the Gilgamesh Epic.  This is a ripping yarn that includes drunkenness, prostitution and an extreme makeover.  No doubt this Epic Tale will be coming out as a weekly television series next season ... Desperate Alewives, The Papyrus Chase or the inevitable Law & Order Ancient Justice….

It seems one Enkidu, a shaggy, unkempt, almost bestial primitive man, who ate grass and could milk wild animals, wanted to test his strength against Gilgamesh, the demigod-like sovereign of Sumerians. Taking no chances, Gilgamesh sent a woman of, shall we say, "many charms" to Enkidu to learn of his strengths and weaknesses.  Enkidu enjoyed a week with her, during which time she taught him of Sumerian civilization:

"…Enkidu knew not, what bread was nor how one ate it. He had also not yet learned to drink beer. The woman opened her mouth and spoke to Enkidu: Eat the bread now, O Enkidu, as it belongs to life. Drink also beer, as it is the custom of the land ... Enkidu apparently drank seven cups of beer and “his heart soared." The narrative then relates that in this condition he washed himself and so became a human being…”

It is theorized that the Sumerians discovered the fermentation process by chance.  No one knows today exactly how this occurred, but it could be that a piece of bread or a quantity of grain became wet and a short time later, it began to ferment and an inebriating pulp resulted.  Archaeologists have discovered a 4,000-year-old seal engraved with what is thought to be a  "Hymn to Ninkasi", the Sumerian goddess of brewing.  This "hymn" is also a recipe for making beer.  

 

One can just imagine this discussion taking place:

Scribe One “It's a hymn”

Scribe Two "no, its a recipe"

Scribe One "No I insist, its a hymn...

Ninkasi “Its a hymn and a recipe…“

 

And so it was that a great advertising campaign for dish soap was discovered in the sands of Mesopotamia, and this is also why some people call persist in calling beer "suds.”  A description of the making of beer on this ancient engraving includes what is believed to be the earliest account of what is easily recognized as barley, followed by a pictograph of bread being baked, crumbled into water to form a mash, and then made into a drink that is recorded as having made people feel "exhilarated, wonderful and blissful."  No doubt the scribes passed out at this point and regretted what they had written early the next day, as most of these writing tablets are found in a cracked and broken state.

In Egypt of the Pharaohs, beer was an important food item in the daily diet. It was like the Sumerian Beer made from lightly baked barley bread, and also was used as a sacrament.

People gathered in the evening to drink at a ‘house of beer'. Beer was the natural drink of the country, a basic in the diet of the nobility and of the fellah (the peasant). As well as being a drink, beer was also used as medicine. A medical document, which was written in about 1,600 BC, lists about 700 prescriptions of which about 100 contained the word ‘beer'.

The Egyptians also provided their dead with food and beer. An ancient Egyptian tomb bears the inscription: ".... satisfy his spirit with beef and fowl, bread and beer". In the taverns or houses of beer in Egypt, the favorite toast was apparently "Here's to your ghost", the second favorite was “here’s to my mother in laws ghost!”

Beer also had status - a keg of beer was considered the only proper gift to be offered to the Pharaoh by a suitor seeking the hand of a royal princess. 30,000 gallons a year was also offered as a fitting gift to the Gods by Pharaoh Rameses II (1,200 BC). It is recorded that a similar amount was also offered to appease the gods when they became angry.  I have suggested to my editor that beer would also be an appropriate form of compensation for his stable of columnists.  I am eagerly awaiting my first paycheck.

It was the Egyptians who reputedly taught the Greeks how to brew beer.  The famous Greek writer Sophocles (450 BC) stressed moderation, and suggested a diet of "bread, meat, green vegetables and zythos (beer)". Other early Greek writers, Xenophon and Herodotus, also mention beer.  The Greeks in turn taught the Romans to brew, and Julius Caesar, following the fateful crossing in 49 BC of the River Rubicon, allegedly toasted his officers with beer.

Pliny and Tacitus are among the classical writers who record the development of the brewing art among the Celtic and Teutonic peoples of Britain and Central Europe.  Tacitus’ description of the chosen drink of the Germanic Tribes is less than flattering:

 "To drink, the Teutons have a horrible brew fermented from barley or wheat, a brew which has only a very far removed similarity to wine".

The baking of bread and the brewing of beer was the province of women in the first centuries after the birth of Christ. This began to change shortly before the end of the first millennium, The Christian Monasteries, initially centers of learning, turned their attention to beer brewing. Perhaps one reason the monks were so concerned with making beer was because they wanted a pleasant tasting, nutritious drink to serve with their meals, which were frugal at best, especially during the fasting periods.  As the consumption of liquids was not considered to “break the fast”, beer was always permitted. The consumption of beer in the monasteries reached astounding levels: Historians report that each monk was allowed to imbibe 5 liters of beer per day.  These were merry monks indeed.

Because the monasteries beer was of such a high quality it became popular with the locals. The people in the growing towns and cities also wanted quality beer with the result that the art of brewing developed and became a respected trade.  We owe much to these monks for being the first to scientifically develop the brewers' art. The first recorded use of hops in beer was in the Brabant monasteries in what is now Belgium.  With the use of hops, a natural preservative, the beer revealed its "clear character".  Beer began to closely resemble the modern product, both in taste and appearance. In order to guarantee a high level of reliability, quality and consistency, the Duke of Bavaria, Wilhelm IV, proclaimed the German Beer Purity Law in 1516. This decree established for the first time that only barley (later malted barley), hops and pure water could be used to brew beer. The use of yeast was not yet known at that time. The success of the fermentation process was left to chance, as the brewers unknowingly relied on yeast particles in the air. Today this Beer Purity Law is the oldest still valid food law in the world. 

To be continued…