LEMONADE STAND By Carol Barbieri BarbieriCa@aol.com carolbarbieri.com archive

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  “WHO PUT MY ‘MR. POTATO HEAD’ SHIRT IN THE DRYER?????

- Chris Barbieri, 1996

THE IMPORTANCE OF ANOTHER'S DEFINITION OF "IMPORTANT"

I was working in the loan department of large bank in 1996.  I was in the middle of a very big loan one afternoon, and trying to meet a deadline.  I had about two hours to get the whole thing “signed, sealed, and delivered.”  The “T’s” had to be crossed and the “I’s” had to be dotted.  I was starting to panic.  A sweat mustache was forming on my upper lip, as one of my bosses (a vice president) looked over one shoulder and a woman from the legal department looked over the other.  They weren’t saying a word, but their body language was screaming, “Please hurry!”

My phone rang.

“Excuse me,” I said to them apologetically.

On the other end of the phone was a voice that I vaguely recognized as my son’s.  I say “vaguely,” because he was screaming.

“WHO PUT MY ‘MR. POTATO HEAD’ SHIRT IN THE DRYER?” he said. 

“What?” I replied.

“Someone put my Mr. Potato Head shirt in the dryer and now it’s ruined!” he said.

“Look,” I said to him.  “I don’t know anything about your Mr. Potato Head shirt.  I haven’t seen it in a week.  And your mother is in the middle of a very important loan right now and I can’t talk.  I’ll see you when I get home.”

It’s a good thing I was 40 miles away, because, at that moment, I could have strangled him with my bare hands.

When I got home, I had cooled down.  He, on the other hand, was still in a Mr. Potato Head rage.

“Look at it,” he said, holding the shrunken shirt as he greeted me at the front door.  “It’s ruined!”

“What are you getting all excited about?” I said.  “Calm down.  You’re getting this upset over a shirt?  It’s only a shirt, for God’s sake.  What’s the big deal?  Just go buy another one,” I said.

“I can’t buy another one!” he replied.  “They don’t make them anymore.”

“Well, just go get another kind of shirt then,” I answered.  Geeeeez. If your father put the shirt in the dryer after you told him not to, I’m sure he’ll reimburse you for it. 

“You don’t understand!  It’s not the money.  That was my favorite shirt!”

Well, I was tired from the loan, I was drained from my commute home and it had been a very long day.  My patience was wearing thin.

“Listen,” I said to him.  “I told you to call me at work only if it were important.  The definition of “important” is; “someone is bleeding,” “someone has been kidnapped”, “someone has been murdered,” or “the house is on fire.” When I say, “murdered” I mean the murder of a real person not a cartoon character.  I was in the middle of a big loan when you called.  By “big” I mean millions of dollars.  I was sweating bullets all day and you call me about a Mr. Potato Head shirt?  When I say “important” I mean “important.  Now stop being ridiculous!”

Oh, damn!  I just broke my own rule.  I called him “ridiculous.”

I always promised myself that I would never call anyone  “ridiculous.”  I would never call them “silly,” either.  I’ve always hated it when someone called me those two names.  I always get angry and frustrated and feel like they don’t understand my feelings.

“I’m sorry,” I said to him.  “I didn’t mean to call you that.  I understand.  That shirt was “important” to you.  Even if it doesn’t seem “important” to me.  We’ll talk to your father when he gets home.”

I thought a lot about that day and “The Mr. Potato Head Incident.”  I thought about how important it is to see what’s important to others, even if it seems trivial or silly or ridiculous to you.  In fact, if we could simply assume that something is important to someone, if they’re yelling about it or crying about it, we’d all save ourselves a hell of a lot of arguments.  Wouldn’t we?

And there would especially be a lot fewer arguments between women and men.

I lost count of the number of times my husband looked at me like I was crazy when I sent him back to the store for items, because he brought home the wrong items.  For instance, there was a time I need evaporated milk for a cheesecake and he bought Carnation Instant Dry Milk instead of Carnation EVAPORATED milk.  There is a difference.

“Why can’t you just use the dry milk,” he said to me.  “It’s probably the same thing.”

No it’s not.

Or the time he bought Tampax Regular Tampons instead of Tampax SUPER PLUS Tampons. 

“What’s the difference?” he said.

Men out there, there is a big difference. 

Then there was the time I was upset because I couldn’t fit into a dress I had planned to wear for a wedding. 

“Just wear something else.”

I didn’t have anything else.

Then there was the time I tried to throw a cake I had made out of the car window (while we were driving 60 MPH on the Garden State Parkway).

“What are you doing?” he yelled as I was trying to get the window open.  Are you crazy?”

But, let me explain.  It was the Fourth of July (1986) and I had spent hours baking an “American Flag Cake” for my cousin’s party.  The entire family was going to be there.  I had made the cake “from scratch,” I had made the icing “from scratch” I had made the filling “from scratch,” and I had decorated the top of the cake with fresh blueberries (for the stars) and fresh strawberries (for the stripes).  It was a veritable masterpiece.

I had unfortunately not anticipated the hot, humid weather and the hour-and-ten- minute drive to my cousin’s house.  I rode with the cake on my lap the entire way. 

We hadn’t even been in the car for ten minutes when the icing started to melt.  Every time my husband made a turn, the top of the cake slid over one way or the other way, until the filling (strawberry preserves and cream) started to seep through the sides.

I did my best to “keep my cool,” but halfway into the drive, the cake no longer resembled an American flag “masterpiece.”  It looked more like an American flag that had suffered the force of a canon ball explosion.

First I started crying.  Next I started to figure out a way to get chuck the cake.

“Open the window,” I said to my husband.  “I’m just going to throw the whole thing away.”

“What?” he said to me in disbelief.

“Just open the window!” I answered.

Somehow he managed to “talk me off the ledge,” because the cake made it to the party.  Actually, it was the “talk” of the party.  Let’s say, it got a hell of a lot of laughs.

The point is, that cake was just “a cake” to my husband.  But it was an “important cake” to me.

And, for you men out there, you can pretty much increase the importance of everything to roughly the “tenth power” if PMS is involved.  Trust me on that one.

So, before I think of the words “ridiculous,” “silly” or “what’s the big deal?” I take a breath and consider that something is a big deal to someone else, even if it isn’t to me.

As for my son’s Mr. Potato Head shirt, he’s probably using it to clean his car these days.  But back then, it was really important to him.

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EYE ON MIDDLETOWN by Mayor Joan Smith Middletown Township thesmitty1@home.com

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TAKE A STEP BACK IN HISTORY AT MARLPIT HALL

After an eight year restoration process, the Monmouth County Historical Association is ready to once again invite the public to take a step back in time at Marlpit Hall.

Marlpit Hall, located on Kings Highway, is a fine example of colonial architecture that was erected in several stages. After chatting with Middletown historian Randy Gabrielian at last week's rededication and re-opening ceremony, I learned there is still some debate as to when different sections of the house were built. While it has been suggested a house was first built on the property in 1686, tests conducted on the wood in Marlpit Hall indicate the house on the property now was built in the mid-1700s.

Randy is doing some extensive research on Marlpit Hall. When the information is available, I will share it with you in a later article. While the age of the exact age of the house is still unclear, no one can debate that is this beautifully restored house will show visitors how things were built and how Middletown residents lived in the 18th century. A tour of the house will also teach you that our descendants from colonial times were a bit shorter than us. I have to admit I bumped by head twice as I traveled from room to room! 

But let me tell you the restored house is so breathtaking, that it was well worth a few bumps. Its center hall, elegant staircase, detailed wood work and a Dutch door made it evident that this Georgian style home was built to impress. The second level reminded me of a beautiful doll house that every child wishes they could have. 

The Monmouth County Historical Association, which owns the home, closed it to the public in 1993 so it could be restored. Time had taken a toll on the home, which was named for a nearby vein of marl, a mixture of clay and limestone. Improvements that needed to be made included repairs to the structure, chimneys and mechanical systems. Historians throughly researched the every detail of the house right down to color of the paint used in the 18th century to ensure there were no anachronisms. When you see the house and surrounding property, I'm sure you'll agree the finished product was well worth eight years of careful research and restoration. 

The restoration work began in 1996. Funding came from a matching grant from the NJ Historic Trust, foundation and individual grants, and a special legislative grant secured through the efforts of our state Senator Joseph Kyrillos, and Assemblyman Joseph Azzolina and Samuel Thompson. 

We are very proud to have this very special house in Middletown and thank all the people who worked to save and restore it. We almost lost this remnant of Middletown's colonial beginnings in 1911 when the state wanted to tear it down to make way for the construction of Kings Highway. Mary Holmes Taylor, whose descendants built the house around 1756, fought to move the house 50 feet east to save it. After Mary died, the late Margaret Moor Riker Haskell, a well-known Middletown resident and collector of Americana, bought the house. Margaret generously restored, furnished and donated the home the Monmouth County Historical Association in 1936. Last weeks re-dedication ceremony was held in her honor. 

The association plans to furnish half the home with furniture from the 18th century, while the other half will reflect Haskell's era of ownership. Marlpit Hall should be open to the public for tours later this summer. 

Seeing the results of what years of fundraising, research and restoration have done for Marlpit Hall, I am glad we were able to save Grover House from destruction in 1996. The Grover House, a rare example Dutch colonial architecture, was built in the 1700s by Middletown's first Township Clerk, James Grover. Today, it sits at the foot of Middletown's Stevenson Park. 

After five years of research, fundraising and perseverance the Township is ready to begin restoration of this house. Workers arrived on the property last week to install temporary construction fencing around the project. Over the next six months a contractor well-versed in restoration will complete the first phase of the restoration, which includes making the house weather tight, repairing and repainting wall and exterior wood work, and installation of a new slate roof and replacement of first floor framing. 

Together historic structures such as Marlpit Hall, the Luyster House, Murray Farmhouse, Whitlock/Wilson Seabrook House (a.k.a The Spy House) and Grover House tell a more than 300-year-old tale about Middletown, a progressive community that began in the 1600s. As we strive to offering residents a bright future that meets the ever-evolving needs of our community, we need to preserve tangible remnants of our past to remind future generations that history often shapes our future. Why? Because we need to see where we've been in order to know where we're going. 

If you have any comments about Middletown's past, present, or future, feel free to e-mail me.  Have a great week!

Contact Mayor Joan Smith - thesmitty1@home.com

http://www.exit109.com/~townhall/ - Middletown Township Municipal Website
http://www.ahherald.com/middletown/index.html - Middletown Community Website

http://www.ahherald.com/eye_on_middletown/eom010726_marlpit.htm
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WINDOWS ON RED BANK by Daniel Murphy, Jr. RiverCenter Board Member danssteaks@aol.com

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FRESH PRODUCE AND FRUITS

FYI Laurino's farm is still open, both growing and selling some of the best produce in the state. At this time of year I love going over in the morning and picking out the produce for the restaurant. I get to sample many of the products; the best is eating the white corn raw as soon as the tractor pulls in with the freshly picked corn. Corn on the cob looses 25% to 50% of its taste every 24 hours after it is picked. I have handed fresh picked corn to hundreds of people over the years, pulled down the husk and told them to take a bight. All of them were amazed at how tender and sweet the corn was without cooking. 

New Jersey is not called the Garden State for nothing. We grow some of the greatest farm produces in the nation. Everyone knows about our Jersey tomatoes and sweet white corn. We also grow some of the biggest and best eggplants, basil, lettuce, broccoli, peppers, potatoes, all sorts of grapes and berries zucchini. The list could go on forever. This is the time of year to start planning your menus both at home and when dining out to enjoy our Jersey Fresh produce. 

In this area there are a number of places to shop for your Farm Fresh produce. In the heart of the Arts & Antique District in Red Bank we have the largest NJ approved Farmer's market selling only NJ grown produce. Located in the parking lot of the Galleria. It is open every Sunday from 9 AM to 3 PM. There you have access to the best produce, homemade breads, honey and flowers you can find at one location. Sickles Market in Little Silver at has grown from a flower and produce stand to one of the areas premiere stores for flowers, plants, produce and gourmet specialty cheeses and prepared foods. And my favorite for produce is Laurino's Farm located at 773 Sycamore Ave. In Tinton Falls. For over 40 years Robert Sr. and for the past 10 years Robert Jr. has grown and sold some of the best corn, tomatoes, and produce I have ever seen. There were rumors that the farm was sold and the store was closed. None of that is true. The tractors are still pulling in out of the fields…the store is still open…. And a great family tradition is still going on.

Contact Daniel Murphy, Jr.  - danssteaks@aol.com    

http://www.redbankrivercenter.org - Red Bank RiverCenter
http://www.ahherald.com/redbank/index.html - Red Bank Community Website

http://www.ahherald.com/window_redbank/wrb010726_produce.htm - PRINT THIS ARTICLE

NO BULL FISHING REPORT by Jay Cosgrove of Bahr's Landing Marina and Restaurant Highlands, NJ  jay@bahrs.com http://www.bahrs.com

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THE SKIPPER'S SHOP (732) 872-0367 35 First Avenue, Atlantic Highlands Nissan Engines Marine Supplies Engine Repairs  Dockside Service Live and Frozen Bait Rods and Reels Coolers Lines and sinkers

click here for NJ DEP FISHING MINIMUM SIZES AND LIMITS

REPORTS OF RIVER, BAY AND OCEAN FISHING

I have been sending most fluke fisherman to the bug light near the Coast Guard Station Sandy Hook. The action is good but there are very few fluke over 151/2 inches. This is easy fishing except for unhooking the sea robins. The big fish seem to be taken in the channels where a bit of experience and skill helps. The best thing to ensure some keepers is to have your tackle box and bait box prepared. Depending on the tide and wind, many adjustments have to be made to sinker weight and leaders etc... . Usually trial and error prevails. The winner of one of this weekend's tournaments is a shining example. Anthony Dabrowski of Spotswood was fishing a snapper/squid combination bait around 2:30 p.m. Saturday near the range markers off Sandy Hook when a doormat fluke took hold, and that 10.28-pounder stood up to win the first-place $3,745 for boat owner Bill Logan of Spotswood in the 11th annual Raritan Bay Anglers Club Charity Fluke Tournament, run out of Perth Amboy Marina

George Feneise fishing with Brian Rice of Monmouth beach, found weekend bluefish action over by Rockaway Beach N.Y.. The also had a few bass.

The Hyper Striper was up river for maintenance last week and decided to worm a few weakfish. All you want is what Jimmy Morenz (the mate) said to me. There are even a few keepers over 14". They were using bucktails with white feathers.

On Sunday John Matteucci "Tooch" had his bass limit for fishing clams at the 16 buoy in sandy Hook Channel.

Capt. Phillip Sciortino drifted worms Friday from Tackle Box Sportfishing as the Brian Pollitto party limited with bass to 32 inches. The Fromkin party only wormed three stripers to 29 inches Saturday morning due to too much boat traffic, but Phil Riva of Hazlet and his brother wormed 25 after dark Saturday. 

Capt. Stan Zagleski said weekend fluking was slow, but a couple of nice flatties were decked yesterday on his Elaine B. Dennis O'Brian of Bound Brook had a 7-1/16-pounder, and Charlie Kodada from Ridgefield Park added a 51/2-pound fluke. 

Captain Kenny on the KKat reports to me:
"Recently, we have been fluking, trolling, or doing a little of both on our trips.
The Darren Cummings party from Houston had two bass, bluefish to 15 pounds, and 16 keeper fluke off of Sea Bright and Monmouth Beach.

The Mark Radley party from East Windsor had 17 keeper fluke, having to wade through a ton of shorts to put their catch together. The action was again off Sea Bright and Monmouth Beach.
Trolling for the Larry Jaskot Party from Hackensack was very slow off Sea Bright. A run back north to Sandy Hook bay found fast action trolling diving plugs for 2-3 pound blues, with a couple of slammers mixed in.

The Vinny Rubertone party from East Rutherford had a pick of jumbo blues off Sea Bright, till the action died with the tide. Chunking in the bay provided a ferocious Dogfish onslaught, one of the worst I've seen. A switch back to trolling plugs had a pick of smaller bluefish.

The Chris Murphy party from Summit had two decent shots of Fluke, one in the morning near the Verrazano, and another in the afternoon near Chapel Hill. 21 keepers and a ton of shorts.

The Bob DeStefano party from Montville had good bluefish trolling off of Sea Bright in very rough conditions. A switch to fluking put 10 keepers in the box near Chapel Hill.

The Fred Perkins party had excellent Bluefish trolling off Sea Bright. Ocean fluking was a pick off the Tradewinds, and a trip back to the bay found the fluking there to be very slow.

The Lee Van Gaalen party from Wyckoff had fast action on the troll with bluefish off Sea Bright. A ton of life there, and hardly anyone fishing it."

We weighed in a few yellowfin on Monday plus some real nice Mahi Mahi (dollfins). Only a few ventured out after the Northeasterly winds stirred things up. The few that went said that it was worth it and that sizes and catches are improving.

click here for NJ DEP FISHING MINIMUM SIZES AND LIMITS

http://www.bahrs.com/weekfisrep.html - Visit Jay's No Bull Fishing Website

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TO YOUR HEALTH by Dr. Jay Mazzella D.C. Of Gallagher Chiropractic Leonardo, NJ GallagherChiro56@aol.com

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LESS PILLS = LESS DEATHS ACCORDING TO BRITISH STUDY

The number of deaths from self poisonings with the commonly prescribed analgesics, paracetamol and salicylates, has decreased significantly since legislation limiting the number of tablets per pack was introduced in the United Kingdom in 1998, according to a study in the British Medical Journal.

Data including drug related deaths, causes of liver poisoning, numbers of liver transplantations, and sales data, were used to assess the impact of the legislation.

The number of tablets in packets of paracetamol and salicylate preparations decreased markedly in the 12 months after the legislation. The annual number of deaths from paracetamol poisoning decreased by 21% and the number from salicylates decreased by 48%.

There was also a reduction in the number of liver transplants and fewer admissions to liver units with paracetamol poisoning, as well as in the number of overdoses of paracetamol and salicylates in which large numbers of tablets were taken.

The legislation has been relatively successful, said the study's authors, with the results indicating that the main factor was the reduction in the number of tablets per pack. An even smaller maximum pack size for pharmacy sales might have had a greater impact still, they concluded.

SOURCE: "Effects of legislation restricting pack sizes of paracetamol and salicylate on self-poisoning in the United Kingdom: before and after the study," British Medical Journal, May 19,2001.

To Your Health!

Dr. Jay Mazzella practices at Gallagher Chiropractic Center located at 934 Hwy 36 Leonardo. You can call him at 291-5656 or send email to: GallagherChiro56@aol.com

http://www.ahherald.com/health/tyh_010726_less_pills.htm  -  PRINT THIS ARTICLE

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PARENT CONNECTION by Carol Caruso Head Guidance Counselor, Henry Hudson Regional School ccaruso@monmouth.com

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FREE AND INEXPENSIVE CAREER ADVICE

When my daughter was younger I asked her what she wanted to be when she grew up. She sat contemplating for a short while before her three-year-old thinking-hard expression changed to one of I-have-the-answer satisfaction. She proudly shared her answer with me, "a giraffe." 

Most children do not know what they want to be when they grow up. Many children when asked about a career speak with certainty that that is what they want to be, but we must expect them to change their mind as they get new information. For example, when some children find out all the schooling necessary to be a veterinarian, or the fact that they may have to put a suffering dog to sleep, they decide on a different career. 

There are wonderful resources that we can share with our children based on their age, interests, and abilities. Here are four I would like to pass on to you:

·Is your child musically minded? The publication Exploring Careers in Music covers diverse careers for musicians. Copies of this booklet are available for $15.00 by writing the National Association for Music Education, 1806 Robert Fulton Drive, Reston, VA 20191.

·Is your daughter athletic? The National Assocation for Girls and Women in Sports, 1900 Association Drive, Reston, VA 20191-1599 offers a directory entitled NAGWS Guide to Internships for $8.00.

·Is your child interested in medicine or research? A free booklet, Careers in Medical Laboratory Technology, is available from the American Society of Clinical Pathologists, 2100 West Harrison Street, Chicago, IL 60612. It describes different positions found in medical labs.

·Does your child want to help others? Social Workers help people find solutions to emotional, financial, and physical problems. The following web sites can help children learn more about this career:

http://www.fastweb.com/sp/swkspotxt01 
http://www.fastweb.com/sp/swkspotxt03 
http://www.fastweb.com/sp/swkspottx04 
http://www.fastweb.com/sp/swkspottxt05 

Contact Carol at: ccaruso@monmouth.com
http://www.exit109.com/~hhrs/ - Henry Hudson Regional School

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LOCAL TRIVIA By George Patterson Baykeeper Boat Auxiliary member View Archive

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HOW WELL DO YOU KNOW MONMOUTH COUNTY

This Week's Question:

The iron bridge which crosses Claypit Creek in the Locust section of Middletown recently underwent repairs.  Wooden cross-beams had been damaged from an oversized load.  

Q:  In what year did Monmouth County Freeholders order the construction of the original iron bridge? 

If you have not won in the last 30 days and you know the answer, send it to trivia@ahherald.com along with your name and the town where you live.  The winner will be announced in next week's issue. )

Last Week's Question:

Q: Which Monmouth County community boasts having the oldest "Fire Company"?

No one had the correct answer to last week's question..

A: Washington Engine Company is the oldest fire company in Monmouth County.

The volunteer fire company is responsible for fire protection and suppression and non-medical emergency service in the Borough of Matawan.  Washington Engine Company Number One the oldest fire department in Monmouth County was organized in 1869 and incorporated in 1869.

http://www.ahherald.com/trivia/lt010726.htm - PRINT THIS ARTICLE
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THE EXPRESSIONLESS EGRET: MORE THAN MEETS THE EYE

Egrets are wonderful animals to observe and take pleasure from. Spring through autumn, egrets can be found in our local ponds, lakes, bays, or marshes. Stoically, the bird will feed alone by constantly stirring up the sandy bottom of an aquatic site by rapidly shuffling its feet. The egret will then lean forward with its neck extended to catch its prey. Egrets are omnivorous and will generally eat fish, small shellfish, sand shrimp, frogs, snakes, and diminutive aquatic vegetation. 

What some people do not realize is that Monmouth County is home to not just one, but two types of egrets. The larger of the two is the Great egret (formerly called the Common or American Egret). The bird is about 40 inches long, and has a bright yellow bill and black legs and feet. It is the only species in New Jersey native to both North America and Eastern Europe. Presently, the bird can be found in a diverse amount of geographic areas, from southern Canada south throughout Central and South America and the West Indies, to central Europe and Japan south to Africa and New Zealand.  The other egret that can be observed in the Bayshore region is the smaller Snowy egret, which is about 24 inches long, and has a thin black bill, and black legs with bright yellow feet. This bird can be seen all along the East Coast and the Gulf Coast, from Maine to Mexico.

Above: A Great egret at rest.

Egrets are in the same family as the Great Blue heron (which is the largest wading bird in New Jersey and generally has a blue-gray body), and the Green heron (a small dark heron that often stands motionless at the edge of a marsh with its neck drawn in). 

Like ducks and geese, egrets are strong fliers. They have muscles in their wings that generate huge heat to speed up the body's metabolism and allow them to fly at great distances without getting tired. In addition, egrets have large wings, which are generally more efficient than smaller ones for flying at long distances. Egrets need to flap their wings only about twice a second, which is better than a hummingbird that has to flap its wings about 80 times per second. When egrets are in flight, they do not stretch their necks, like ducks or geese, but keep it close to their body as an S shape. 

During breeding season, male and female egrets will seek each other to roost, and mate. Once paired, a male and female egret will divide the responsibility of making a nest, with the male bringing sticks to a female who will do the construction. This activity takes approximately 4-7 days. 

Between April and June, 3-4 pale blue eggs will be deposited in a nest. Both sexes incubate the eggs, which take between 20-24 days to hatch. Both adults feed their young and initially place food on the edge of their nest to allow their young to grab and develop accuracy with its bill. Young egrets leave the nest at 20-26 days spending approximately 3 days learning to fly and obtain food. Adult egrets usually rear 1 brood per year and exhibit seasonal monogamy. 

Thankfully, egrets are ubiquitous in our area. It was not long ago, however, that both egrets were nearly exterminated throughout North America. During the 19th century, unregulated hunting practices allowed people to recklessly slaughter adult egrets for their valuable plumes, known in the millinery trade as aigrettes. Consequently, at the expense of letting people purchase fashionable hats to wear, egret populations in North America were nearly decimated. 

Local egret populations are now starting to make a comeback due to an increasing emphasis on practical clothes for both men and women (especially after World War II), which has influenced a sharp decline in fancy hat wearing. Federal legislation also protects egrets from unreasonable human hunting.

This does not mean, however, egrets are totally safeguarded. A primary factor in the decline of egrets today is the draining, developing, or polluting of wetlands. The applying of chemicals to lawns or gardens, which will eventually end up in local waterways, is a fundamental nonpoint source of pollution that greatly diminishes the availability of foraging and nesting sites important to the perpetuation of this majestic species.

sosap@gateway.net - contact Joe Reynolds
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DOLLARS AND $ENSE by Richard Vera II, MBA, CPA, DABFA Of CPA & Financial Services, L.L.C. Atlantic Highlands, New Jersey CPA@cpafs.com - contact Richard Vera

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YOU GET WHAT YOU PAY FOR:
LOAD VERSUS NO-LOAD MUTUAL FUNDS

In recent years, the subject of "no-load" mutual funds versus "load" funds has stirred passionate debate. Unfortunately, all this sound and fury has produced more confusion than any real insight. It is long past time to dispel the misunderstandings that prevent too many people from making the highly personal and individual investment choices that are best for them.

A mutual fund "load" is a sales commission, nothing more and nothing less. The load debate originated in the financial press. "The press has manufactured the impression that it is not very smart to pay a load," says Don Phillips, Editor of "Mutual Fund Values," a newsletter published by Chicago-based Morningstar, Inc., which tracks mutual fund performance. That narrow-minded attitude is similar to insisting that all those who do not repair their own cars are not very bright. In reality, many very intelligent people simply do not have the aptitude, knowledge or time to learn how to keep their cars running. It makes a good deal of sense for these people to pay for the services of a skilled auto mechanic.

For the same reason, it also makes sense for many people to buy load mutual funds. The real issue is not load versus no-load. Instead, the issue is the load's purpose and what the load does for investors. The load pays for investment advice, that extra level of service the client receives.

Investors who focus solely on whether or not a fund charges a load are doing themselves a disservice. The load is just one of many factors to consider when evaluating mutual funds. These factors include the fund's performance history, the type of fund it is, its level of risk, its total return, all the costs associated with the fund and the fund manager's track record. These criteria must be applied to the more than 3,000 mutual funds available at present, with more funds being developed constantly.

In addition to all of these considerations, each investor's individual goals and risk tolerance are also crucial to selecting the appropriate fund or fund family. It soon becomes obvious that most people do not possess the investment skills or financial knowledge to know which mutual fund or fund group best matches their needs and goals. Choosing the appropriate mutual fund can be complex and time-consuming. Perhaps this is why two-thirds of all mutual fund investors buy load mutual funds through a financial services professional. These people value the extra service that the load makes available to them.

The load versus no-load debate has prompted many people to assume, mistakenly, that a no-load fund is a no-cost fund. Nothing could be further from the truth. In a future column, we will examine the types of charges that mutual funds can assess and how those should or should not affect the investment decision.

Rich Vera, CPA practices at CPA & Financial Services, LLC, located at 971 Leonardville Road, Atlantic Highlands. A full service firm offering Income Tax Preparation, IRS Representation, QuickBooks Support, Notary Public Services, Investment and Brokerage Services, Mortgages, and Prepaid Accounting Services. You can contact him at: Ph: (732) 291-8546 ¨ Fax: (732) 872-6447 ¨ E-mail: CPA@cpafs.com ¨ Visit: http://www.cpafs.com/

http://www.ahherald.com/dollars/010726_load_no_load.htm - PRINT THIS ARTICLE

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BYTE SIZED News and Information from Brookdale Computer Users Group www.bcug.com jcorbett@bcug.com

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BCUG meets at 7:00 p.m. on the 3rd Friday of each month at the NAS building, room 100, Brookdale Community College, Lincroft, NJ.

BUILDING YOUR OWN PC
By Dick Mayback

This can be a rewarding experience. By doing everything yourself you lose your fear (and much of your respect) for your PC. It is just a small collection of inexpensive parts, any of which can be replaced in a few minutes. If you do your own work, repairs are inexpensive, since labor tends to be the costliest part of the job. Before you begin to build your own PC, however, consider the following points.

You won’t save money. If your idea is to acquire a PC at the lowest possible price, forget about building it yourself. You can’t beat, or even meet, the prices of the lowest cost PCs. An important exception occurs if you already have most of the parts. For example, you could replace only your motherboard and CPU for $200 or so. I’ve done this, but I saw no appreciable improvement until I also replaced my hard disk and video controller. The old ones were so slow that they determined the system speed.

You won’t learn much. Think of the project as a final exam; you have to know almost everything before you begin. The exam does force you to learn, but it doesn’t really teach you anything. For this reason, I recommend that you don’t build your first computer. A better alternative is to buy the same books and use them to work with your present computer, perhaps adding a new video controller and monitor, a CD-ROM drive, or a sound card.

Expect frustration. Some things won’t work, especially if you buy low-cost components. Even quality parts can be incompatible with each other. Some of the parts are tiny, some fragile, and some both. You will probably break something before you finish. In the past six years, while working on four computers, I’ve replaced two motherboards, a VGA controller, a disk controller, three floppy disk drives, a case, two power supplies, a mouse, two tape drives, a Jaz drive, and a 1M SIMM. Some of these were dead on arrival, some failed during warranty, and some failed after the warranty expired. It’s important to buy from a reputable dealer, because you will almost certainly have to return something.

Expect to spend a lot of time. You will read several books, pore over every page of Computer Shopper, explore the Internet, and be on a first-name basis with Ken Gordon. On the first PC I built, I spent over a year figuring out what I wanted, before I bought anything.

Expect to get exactly what you want. Because you buy everything separately, you will have a custom system. If you are in love with Sony monitors, Seagate hard disks, TEAC floppy drives, ATI video controllers, Northgate keyboards, and midi-tower cases, that’s what you’ll have. If you buy a complete system, your options are limited.

Tools. Most likely you have them already. (If you don’t, rethink the whole idea. You probably don’t have the experience to risk $1000 or more worth of fragile parts.) You will need large and small Phillips screwdrivers, large and small flat blade screwdrivers, small alligator nose pliers, a small (4 inch) adjustable wrench, and a Voltmeter. Finally, get a grounding wrist strap to prevent static electricity from damaging your electronics when you are handling anything inside your case, especially during the winter when the air in your house is dry.

Parts. Everything plugs together, and most components come with all the cables and mounting hardware you need, if you buy them new. Beware of buying used components unless you have an extensive selection of miscellaneous parts. You may find in the course of the project that you need an adapter or a special cable to get things configured exactly the way you want, but you can probably get a usable computer working without buying anything. Complete it first, then you can visit Radio Shack or wait for the next computer show to get the missing widget.

Test Software. Unfortunately, most diagnostic software runs on Windows and, unless your hardware is working almost perfectly, Windows won’t run. If Windows does run, look carefully at the Device Manager (go to the Control Panel, then System, and click on the Device Manager tab). If you see any explanation points, you have to correct things until they disappear. Start disabling and removing suspect devices until you have none. These tests are best run in Windows’ Safe Mode, as Normal Mode hides some conflicts. Don’t forget to check the CMOS setup screens. Frequently, there are problems here, especially if you have old ISA expansion cards. You can learn a lot about your PC by working with MSD, which comes with Windows although the install program doesn’t install it. You will need a good hardware book to understand what MSD tells you.

Test Equipment. Except for a Voltmeter, save your money. No PC component is repairable without thousands of dollars of equipment, special tools, and a lot of knowledge. The most effective strategy is to swap components one at a time from your present PC, until you find the broken one.

Working with Vendors. Most vendors work with a very small profit margin; don’t expect much hand-holding. You should expect them to answer specific questions about what they sell, but they can’t afford to have you tie up their counters or phone lines for long periods of general discussion. Before you call, write down your questions and make some effort to find the answers for yourself.

Your best chance to have a defective component replaced is immediately after you buy it. Many dealers limit their warranty period, sometimes as short as two days. Don’t buy anything until you’re are ready to use it, then install and test it immediately.

The choice between mail order and local dealer depends on how much experience and time you have. The low profit margins in PC hardware mean that both component manufacturers and system assemblers spend little time on testing. Dead-on-arrival hardware and infant mortalities are common. When this happens you are entirely dependent on the company who sold it to you. You can often save money by purchasing from a mail-order firm, but it is much faster to get replacement parts from a local dealer. You are trading off convenience for money.

System manufacturers and assemblers usually purchase components on an Original Equipment Manufacturer (OEM) basis. The cost of these is less because the dealer relieves the manufacturer from all customer support. This means that the component manufacturer often won’t even talk to the end purchaser. Your only warranty is from the seller, and you must select him or her with care. Name brand hardware costs more than its commodity equivalent. The difference is between Sound Blaster and “Sound Blaster equivalent”. I favor name brands. You can be sure that every vendor of software that uses sound has tested its products with Sound Blaster cards, but it is impossible for a small manufacturer to test its sound card with every program. You depend on the company’s ability to reverse engineer a Sound Blaster card, and commodity cards frequently don’t even identify their manufacturer.

Getting Information: I have not found a really good hardware book for PC’s, although the following three together provide a decent background. Each of them is frustratingly incomplete; about the best you can hope for is that any one will have about 80 per cent of what you need. This isn’t helped by the incomplete indexes. None of these should be read cover to cover, but used to answer specific questions.

Peter Norton’s Complete Guide to PC Upgrades, by Norton and Desmond, is a good, although fairly technical, tutorial on the subject. It covers the why’s and how’s of PCs rather than detailed procedures.

Upgrading and Repairing PCs, by Scott Mueller, with almost 1500 pages is not for the faint of heart. This is a reference book for those who understand PC hardware. Don’t buy this one first, but it is an invaluable reference for the experienced user.

Upgrading & Fixing PCs for Dummies, by Andy Rathbone, is much easier to read than either of the above. This would be a good place to start to learn about PC hardware, despite its unfortunate title. This covers the basics and will also help you to understand the more advanced books above.

The Internet is an excellent source of PC information. A good search engine, such as Yahoo, can help you find what you need. For parts information, check out http://www.thedukeofurl.org/ and ZD-Net’s http://www.linhardware.com/.  Although these are for Linux users, almost all the information is also valid for Windows. You can also learn much by reading the right newsgroups. Search for “hardware” in your newsreader’s list of newsgroups. In particular, check out comp.sys.ibm.pc.hardware.cd-rom, comp.sys.ibm.pc.hardware.chips, comp.sys.ibm.pc.hardware.comm, etc. Keep in mind that not everybody who posts news is knowledgeable or even rational.

www.bcug.com - BCUG website
jcorbett@bcug.com - BCUG contact

http://www.bcug.com/sig/sig_sched2.html  
Schedule of Special Interest Group Meetings for July

http://www.ahherald.com/bcug/bs010726_build_pc.htm - PRINT THIS ARTICLE

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SCUTTLEBUTT by USS Arctic Public Affairs

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SAILORS STAY IN TOUCH WHILE KEEPING PEACE IN THE MEDITERRANEAN
By Seaman Sean Galloway

Every Sailor faces the challenge while on a six month deployment of maintaining communication with family and friends back in the United States. USS ARCTIC has been underway for over two months on her final cruise, but unlike the ‘97 Mediterranean cruise, several technological advancements have improved the flow of information back to the States for all ship’s company. Of course communicating back home includes traditional “snail mail” offered by the US Postal Service and the new, quicker emailing capability available on the Navy’s Information Technology for the Twenty First Century network. However, the most convenient way to reach someone back home while on cruise is to pick up a phone.

Two types of phones are available with the first being Sailor phones. They are satellite linked telephones installed on Navy ships for crewmembers to call their family and friends even when the ship is at sea. ARCTIC’s Sailor phone system is set up to accommodate everyone with ten lines to serve the five hundred and fifty member crew. By dialing the access number from any phone on the ship and using an AT&T prepaid telephone card available from the ship’s store, a crewmember can make calls as if using a payphone. Sailor phones operate via satellite starting with transmission of a signal from the ship that is received by a satellite. The satellite then directs this signal down to a ground station in the States where the signal is relayed over domestic telecommunication infrastructure.

Another method of contacting friends and loved ones back home that makes use of satellite phones is the AT&T cellular system that is available whenever ARCTIC is inport. An AT&T representative delivers approximately six to eight cellular phones to the ship for the crews’ use. Patched through a direct AT&T link, these phones allow people to call whoever, wherever they want. According to IT2 Christopher Dudley, the cell phones are available twenty four hours a day when the ship is at anchor or alongside a pier. Like any communication system, these two methods have their flaws. Besides waiting to gain access to a line, Sailor phones have a slight delay when speaking with the party on the other end. With only minor drawbacks, Sailor phones and AT&T phone services are both very effective ways to keep in touch when deployed in the Mediterranean Sea.

EM3 John Pollock uses his prepaid calling card to dial home on ARCTIC's Sailor phone.

The Navy has gone to great expense to improve quality of life for Sailors by making it easier to keep in touch with their families even when separated by thousands of miles. Whichever way is preferred to keep in touch while ARCTIC is underway on deployment be it email, Sailor phone, or AT&T cellular phones, the next conversation is just a satellite link away!

Contact USS Arctic Public Affairs - 2NDDIVO@arctic.navy.mil

http://www.ahherald.com/scuttlebutt/sb010726_phone_home.htm - PRINT THIS ARTICLE 

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LEND - A - HAND Volunteer Center of Monmouth County (732) 728-1927 Visit their website - http://www.volunteermc.org

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POETS' LAIR by Area Poets

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LOVE SONG OF A GRINNING IDIOT
by RC

I can show you
things exquisite and grotesque
playing a fair face
brightening those sweet eyes
but to make you see
the ugly hands that so love the strings
will they turn daggers for me?
to be clever,
to make you laugh 
but to make you think,
will you then deny me a smile?
To take you in my arms,
leading you in turn after turn
dips and bows, fretting the finest instrument
whirling my something strange brain
in your vernal perfume,
will you then deny me your lips?
the saucy doors of song,
defiled in frown, profaned in curse and scorn
to be your sometime fancy
to win you for a brief delight
to parole my soul to heaven a few hours,
then returned to exile in a pestilent chamber of solemn black
will you then deny me my anger?
my gazes?
simple torment of memory and vision
we two breathe a contest of spite
wounding one another in ways not kind enough to kill 
            though
can I bend an oak with words?
cause a riot to intention and overthrow sensibility?
                                            Yes
                        I'll try

as the stars exhale their silver to give but a broken mirror of your eyes;
    as though jealous autumn stole the vitality of Summer
and bottled the breath of each rose to be spoken by your pores in tones of music
    as he wound a fine tapestry of gold from sunlight and silk from lilac 
to adorn your carefree brow with a fall of hair to shame the daintiest peacock
    and as his effort was so great and his pride in creation of perfect beauty
so costly that his heart broke and he fell dead in the first unbroken snow of winter
    and his life's blood mingled with that clean snow that the forests wept
and in memorial to him your unblemished ivory cheeks bear his rosy kiss

would you hear more?

RC 

(editors note: Do you have poetry to share? Send your submission to editor@ahherald.com.)

http://www.ahherald.com/poet/pl010726_idiot.htm - - PRINT THIS ARTICLE 

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PICTURE THIS!

Click the image to see a larger picture.

http://www.ahherald.com/picture_this/pt_010726.htm  - or click here

Picture This! We'll show you a photo each week and you tell us where in Monmouth County that photo was taken.   Be the first person to respond with the correct answer and we will publish your name and the town where you live.

Can you identify the location from this photo taken in Monmouth County, NJ? 
Send your answer along with your name and the town where you live to: editor@ahherald.com

Last Week's Picture This! Answer

Shirley Delnero of Middletown NJ was the first to correctly identify the location.

A: The covered bridge is located across the street from the Reformed Church of Middletown on Kings Highway.  The bridge crosses the NorthCoast Line railroad tracks and leads to a private residence. 

http://www.ahherald.com/picture_this/pt_010719.htm
last week's Picture This! photo

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READER'S WRITE

 

SIGN VANDALISM ON PRIVATE PROPERTY

I have attached a letter written to the Planning Director of Middletown Township, Mr. Anthony Mercantante, about the malevolence that overshadows the quality of life in Middletown. The Mountain Hill Group, a.k.a., the Azzolina and Scaduto families, and their supporters have totally unmasked their ugly selves and shown everyone who they really are; purposefully malicious hoodlums. I have no reason to think otherwise. Their behavior speaks for itself, and I have not heard one word of outrage or condemnation from the Mountain Hill Group constituency about these repeated attacks of vandalism on the property owners of Middletown. If there are any in your readership that finds this conduct honorable, I beg you to hasten in letting me know.

Dear Mr. A. Mercantante:

I am looking for the answer to the following question. Is it legal for anyone to post public opinion signs on township property and along public right of ways? The reason I ask is this: Yesterday afternoon I discovered that someone had attempted to remove a red 'Stop the Mall' sign off of my property but was unsuccessful. It was frightening, intimidating, and violating. So if the answer to my question is yes, it is against the law, then how do I go about making sure the law is enforced? The vandalism I describe in not uncommon and the amount of lawlessness, incivility, and slobbery existing in Middletown Township because of the town center issue is abhorrent. Something must be done in an attempt to stop this malevolent behavior.

Sincerely,
Margaret Checton
Middletown, NJ 

http://www.ahherald.com/readers_write/010726_sign_vandals.htm - PRINT THIS ARTICLE 

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ATLANTIC HIGHLANDS BOARD MADE THE RIGHT DECISION ON SIXTH GRADE CLASS SIZE

July 20, 2001

AHES Board Members,

I was unable to attend your recent board meeting but wanted to express my views on the controversy regarding the loss of the third teacher for sixth grade. 

I am a concerned parent of a sixth grader and have no problem with increasing the class size of this group of 11 -12 year old children to 24 pupils. In fact, as a taxpayer, I believe it would be frivolous spending to hire an extra teacher for 16 children per class in this age group. By the sixth grade, most of these students have developed good study habits and have a longer attention span. Being in a larger group than they have become accustomed to will better prepare them for junior high school where the class sizes are larger. Also, many of the children are pulled out for different programs and will not be with the entire group for all classes. 

My daughter graduated from AHES two years ago and had 26 students in her sixth grade class. She did very well and I believe she was well prepared for junior high. 

I am confident that you as board members have made the right decision in this matter and lend you my support. We have excellent teachers in our school and I am certain they will be able to handle the challenges of this size class.

Sincerely,
Mary Lynn Hughes 
Atlantic Highlands, NJ

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POSITIVE THOUGHTS:

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